Does Your Vacuum Suck

Get the best you can Bob.

I went to power wash my drive with my trusty jet wash last week. Set everything up, turned it on and nothing. £300 later and the Karcher K5 Full Control arrived and it made the job so much easier than with the old one. A beast as you say.

Mrs MB bought that Dyson air wrap hair dryer. I cried when I saw the price!

I want a V10 now.
I was looking at the K5 the other day to do my drive, is this a good shout? Was also looking at the K7
 
My beautifully formed handheld Dyson has turned into a Canute. It was advertised as only running for 6 mins on a full charge but I never used it for more than a minute or two just whipping round the corners of the rooms Mrs Ewing asked me many decades ago would I clean - the 'restrooms'! Anyway, the said machine lasts for less than six seconds now but continues to go for another three or four seconds until I release the trigger and press it again! And repeat ad infinitum. I only use it in the garage now. And before anyone mentions the fuckin' filter it's washed under the tap as per instructions every month, and it's currently drying on the kitchen radiator. (Nothing wrong with its replacement - a Vax Blade!
 
I have been away all day researching Vacuums. We have a V6 Dyson stick that has served us both well for nigh on 3 years requiring little in the way of maintenance save for replacement filters. It has been nothing short of a joy to own making light of our daily cleaning sabbatical and freeing up time to concentrate on other nuances. I digress so around 4 months ago it stopped working and after contacting the chaps down at Dyson HQ we troubleshooted it down to the battery and a price of £65 was tendered. I sought out alternative options mainly via Ebay and Amazon ETC. In the end we decided on a replacement from Mr Wan (real name) and the price was most reassuring at £19.99. After a 2 minute screwdriver job it was back to it's old self we both fought for possession being starved of the stimuli that only a Dyson can afford the elderly .

Fast forward 4 months and Mr Wan has sold us a proper pup and the V6 is now at a standstill. I have wrote to him this afternoon threatening litigious action so fingers crossed. I am not paying £65 for a battery from old James so after discussing options we decided to replace the machine but with what ? We have owned Dyson machines for a long time and our first was a DC 03 plug in job that we owned for 5 years and still sold for half our money back. After a cordless we could not revert back, so I have disseminated the market place and watched at least 8 You tube reviews and searched for the best deals that are available at the time of writing.



The V7 animal is a marginal improvement over the V6 with a slightly larger containment bin and slightly more suck. It makes headway on the V6 by improving on emptying so you don't have to get up close and personal with a knife to clear the tangled debris out. One click of the V7 and the dirt is expelled hygienically and safely and an absolute godsend for asthmatics and or allergen sufferers.

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If we decide to push the boat out and future proof our-self then the feel of the V10 Animal could well be the wand that ticks our box..

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An excellent appraisal below from the guys down at Expert Review site and just look at the size of that bin at 0.76 litres! It also has 3 speed settings and a superlative battery life to get that job done. The key development with the Dyson Cyclone V10, though is the new V10 “digital” motor, which has been significantly redesigned to provide more power in a smaller package than even the V8. The new motor denlivers a higher rpm – up to 125,000rpm courtesy of a newly designed impeller with a lightweight ceramic shaft and overlapping vanes. The result is, says Dyson, 20% extra airflow. Oh yes !

I have watched the video above a few times and would like to point out that the reviewer stated while the V8 and V10 Absolute do come with the fluffy head you also said that the Total Clean versions do not come with the Fluffy head, when in fact I have discovered they do they actually do. The V6 Total Clean, V7 Total Clean, V8 Total Clean and V10 Total Clean models all come with the fluffy head. The V6 Absolute and Total Clean also come with the direct drive cleaner head so maybe a fairer comparison would have been to use the V6 Total Clean or the V6 Absolute in your test lad and then all four machines would have used the same power head rather than the V6 being the odd one out with the lesser rated head found on the base models of V6 but apologies for being rude as I guess I am just nitpicking. Its still an excellent review and enjoyed listening in.

Dyson Cyclone V10: The upright Vacuum Killer!

https://www.expertreviews.co.uk/dyson/1406835/dyson-cyclone-v10-review

And so it's decision time mon braves and before any big decision it is only right and fitting that it is put to debate, listening in intently for any help or guidance the knowledgeable ones can offer. The V7 is available for £199 with the creme de la crem of suction the V10 Animal currently available for a mouth watering £350. Can't afford to get this one wrong as it's serious wonga but better to pay the wonga than go back to the bad old days of a Eubank: They say they were the good old days but they were not and after using the Eubank you were fit for fook all but bed. I also remember our twin tub that we rented of a guy called Clever Trevor and nappy day was fraught with difficulty. You put the shit covered Terry Towels in and the water churned into quagmire of stench and debauchery. It shook around the kitchen so I had to sit on it for the 10 minute cycle. Then you had to user pincers to get brown nappies out and put them in the spinner and the house stunk like an eighteenth century sess pit. Then it was off to the line to proudly peg them out... They don't know there born kids nowadays and I for one remain ever so glad for progress: That is all:

kJKonHZ.jpg


Edited for Syntax:

Before I knew Dysons politics we owned one for a short time. Whilst regularly emptying its contents of cat fluff and assorted detritus on the floor when attempting to empty and driving Mrs S to language most unbecoming for a lady of her undoubted refinement and pedigree, it ended up in the municipal dump. And good riddance. Having previously owned state of the art Bosch and Siemens we decided to go low tech and are now the proud adopted parents of a lovely Henry Hoover that does an excellent job for a value price. It also follows Mrs S round the house like a well trained puppy with a beatific grin on its homely visage.

oh. And I now wouldn’t put a penny in dysons pocket even if he was the last manufacturer on earth and I had to sook the cat fur from the carpets chez nous.
But we all must find our own way in life :-)
Good luck whatever you decide. I hope it provides many happy hoover hours.
 
Last edited:
Before I knew Dysons politics we owned one for a short time. Whilst regularly emptying its contents of cat fluff and assorted detritus on the floor when attempting to empty and driving Mrs S to language most unbecoming for a lady of her undoubted refinement and pedigree, it ended up in the municipal dump. And good riddance. Having previously owned state of the art Bosch and Siemens we decided to go low tech and are now the proud adopted parents of a lovely Henry Hoover that does an excellent job for a value price. It also follows Mrs S round the house like a well trained puppy with a beatific grin on its homely visage.

oh. And I now wouldn’t put a penny in dysons pocket even if he was the last manufacturer on earth and I had to sook the cat fur from the carpets chez nous.
But we all must find our own way in life :-)
Good luck whatever you decide. I hope it provides many happy hoover hours.

The people who clean large offices and a variety of workmen use Henry Hoovers and that in itself is the best recommendation you can get.
 
He hasn't got one, Bob. He goes to bed at night, wakes up in the morning and the house is spotless, top to bottom. It's a miracle, but we know that God works in mysterious ways, his spring cleaning to perform.

You jest but a few years ago we had a friend and his wife round. For some reason the subject got onto showers. I told her our stand alone shower was brilliant as it cleaned itself, we'd had it 5 years and I'd never had to clean it once. She was amazed and wanted to know every detail, it was only half way through my epic description that she saw Mrs Mist looking at me in anger and my mate in tucks of laughter.
 
Before I knew Dysons politics we owned one for a short time. Whilst regularly emptying its contents of cat fluff and assorted detritus on the floor when attempting to empty and driving Mrs S to language most unbecoming for a lady of her undoubted refinement and pedigree, it ended up in the municipal dump. And good riddance. Having previously owned state of the art Bosch and Siemens we decided to go low tech and are now the proud adopted parents of a lovely Henry Hoover that does an excellent job for a value price. It also follows Mrs S round the house like a well trained puppy with a beatific grin on its homely visage.

oh. And I now wouldn’t put a penny in dysons pocket even if he was the last manufacturer on earth and I had to sook the cat fur from the carpets chez nous.
But we all must find our own way in life :-)
Good luck whatever you decide. I hope it provides many happy hoover hours.
Same here. We have owned plenty of Dysons in the past but I'm never giving Dyson another penny. Recently bought a Sebo. Looks a bit like the vacuum cleaner equivalent of an orthopaedic shoe but is an excellent vacuum cleaner. Would certainly recommend.
 
My beautifully formed handheld Dyson has turned into a Canute. It was advertised as only running for 6 mins on a full charge but I never used it for more than a minute or two just whipping round the corners of the rooms Mrs Ewing asked me many decades ago would I clean - the 'restrooms'! Anyway, the said machine lasts for less than six seconds now but continues to go for another three or four seconds until I release the trigger and press it again! And repeat ad infinitum. I only use it in the garage now. And before anyone mentions the fuckin' filter it's washed under the tap as per instructions every month, and it's currently drying on the kitchen radiator. (Nothing wrong with its replacement - a Vax Blade!

A lot of the time the problem is to do with the cone shaped filter that lives in the top of the machine and you simply withdraw it and bang it clean. It may look clean but in a lot cases it is still blocked with heavy detritus. However in you scenario this has not worked so I asked the wife as she does all the maintenance in our household as my mind will not compute with building or repair work and probably stems from the sad days of me getting Airfixes models and Mechano for Christmas. I used to gently sob a while, then place the boxes of shit under the bed so as not to appear ungrateful. Why would you give an excited child a box full of bits with instructions to build it themselves? I once worked for 3 years in metalwork at school to make a coat hanger and I hammered it and braised it and planished it every lesson and after 3 years you still could not hang a coat on it but old Mr Johnson gave me a C for effort but mother said it meant something else. Anyway I am drifting so she said if it's not the filter then it's definitely it's flaps that have gone wrong. Where the wand pipe enters the bin there is a one way flap inside. Remove the wand and shake the drum. If it's not moving then remove the plastic drum and clean it thoroughly under the tap and dry and replace and you will now see it's flap moving freely again. She said this is 100% the reason the suction goes off and on intermittently. Go to the garage now and try it and report back.
 
A lot of the time the problem is to do with the cone shaped filter that lives in the top of the machine and you simply withdraw it and bang it clean. It may look clean but in a lot cases it is still blocked with heavy detritus. However in you scenario this has not worked so I asked the wife as she does all the maintenance in our household as my mind will not compute with building or repair work and probably stems from the sad days of me getting Airfixes models and Mechano for Christmas. I used to gently sob a while, then place the boxes of shit under the bed so as not to appear ungrateful. Why would you give an excited child a box full of bits with instructions to build it themselves? I once worked for 3 years in metalwork at school to make a coat hanger and I hammered it and braised it and planished it every lesson and after 3 years you still could not hang a coat on it but old Mr Johnson gave me a C for effort but mother said it meant something else. Anyway I am drifting so she said if it's not the filter then it's definitely it's flaps that have gone wrong. Where the wand pipe enters the bin there is a one way flap inside. Remove the wand and shake the drum. If it's not moving then remove the plastic drum and clean it thoroughly under the tap and dry and replace and you will now see it's flap moving freely again. She said this is 100% the reason the suction goes off and on intermittently. Go to the garage now and try it and report back.
Problem with the flaps. We have all been there at one time or the other.
 

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