Injuries to yourself whilst drunk !

[blue b4 the moon]

Been very very drunk on numerous occasions but somehow never injured myself.

 

[Mad Eyed Screamer]

2015 when we beat Monchengladback (I think) with 3 late goals and Juve / Seville drew so we won the group - and the rags failed to qualify for the knockout round....

I cycled to the pub. I had drunk 5 bottles before leaving and didnt intend on drinking much more (but did....) halfway home fell off the bike (was on the footpath) and was laughing but in agony. Walked home in pain and fell asleep fully clothed. Woke up at 3am in pure agony. Walked to the hospital which was quarter of a mile away but took me ages as each step i took hurt (and walked past a big lake where a large alligator was spotted the day before!).
Turned out I broke my collarbone and a rib.
Recieved a medical bill of $6000 for my troubles (insurance paid $4500). Most expensive game ever watching City!

 

[Kippaxian]

Snapped Achilles dancing to Madness in the pub after a 3-0 home win against Arsenal just before Christmas couple of years back. Drove to the hospital in the morning and then had to drive it back with a Moon Boot, crutches etc.

 

[Nebuchadnezzar]

At a festival 20 odd years ago, bottles of beer in my backpack but managed to loose my bottle opener. Knocked the top off the bottle on a metal gate, and all the beer came fizzing from the top like a fountain. Slammed my hand on the top of the bottle to save the beer, but in my state hadn't noticed that I had actually smashed the neck of the bottle off. Still gives me shivers thinking about that.

I tried biting the lid off a glass bottle once and took part of the neck off in my mouth. I had cut gums and had to tweezer a piece out of my lip in the morning which was lovely.

 

[Chippy_boy]

Came out of the pub pissed as a fart and decided (for reasons unknown) that a piggy back race would be a good idea... down the cobbled street. Tripped whilst carrying my mate and ploughed my face into the cobbles, unable to get my hands down. Resulted in losing my front teeth and 18 stitches to chin and nose.

In A&E later with pissed mates, nurse applying stitches apparently said "Normally I'd give you some local anaesthetic, but I don't think you need any".

Perhaps a funny tale but something I've had to live with (teeth-wise) for 35 years and it's been a right pain in the arse tbh.

 

[the blue panther]

About 40 years ago, about 20 of us from Burnage and Didsbury went to London for the weekend to watch Widnes in the Rugby League Cup Final. It was exceptionally boozy. On the Friday night, we'd been to several pubs and, being the youngest there, I was already pissed when we were at some tube station or other and had to change trains to get back to the hotel. Whilst changing platforms, there was a pair of those super long escalators next to each other. We had to descend, but the 'down' one had a queue. The 'up' one was empty. There was only one thing for a fit, young, pissed up lad to do in these circumstances, but, as I started to descend on the 'up' escalator, I began to move quicker and quicker, until I lost balance, running, and my undercarriage "went", and I tumbled down, somersaulting the final 20 yards or so, much to the hilarity of numerous locals and tourists, I'm sure!
None of my mates knew what had happened, as none of them were stupid enough to follow me - they were still queueing as my clothes and skin were shreddded on the teeth of the steps of the escalator, and my nose bloodied and broken. How I didn't break every bone in my body is something I have to attribute to the relaxing effects of an alcoholic overdose.
When I was eventually helped to my feet by a mate who declared, " I think you might need a stitch or 2 in that" pointing at my nose, I had no sense of how I must have looked, and, thankfully, as the stitches were being applied an hour or so later at St. Mary's in Paddington without conventional anaesthesia of course - 6 to the bridge of the nose, as I my fiancee helpfully counted, whilst berating me, as she welcomed me back into her 'loving' arms, at Manchester Piccadilly - that excess of alcohol kindly protected me from any pain whatsoever. My bent nose and scar remain. And, so does she!
It was a good night though.

 

[HolisticJim]

I was pissed in picadilly one time and decided to climb into a little kids electronic thomas the tank engine ride.
I really struggled to squeeze myself into it, arms out of the windows, head out of the front where the windscreen would be.

Got stuck. took three hours of laughing security guards pushing and pulling to get me out.

 

[the blue panther]

Came out of the pub pissed as a fart and decided (for reasons unknown) that a piggy back race would be a good idea... down the cobbled street. Tripped whilst carrying my mate and ploughed my face into the cobbles, unable to get my hands down. Resulted in losing my front teeth and 18 stitches to chin and nose.

In A&E later with pissed mates, nurse applying stitches apparently said "Normally I'd give you some local anaesthetic, but I don't think you need any".

Perhaps a funny tale but something I've had to live with (teeth-wise) for 35 years and it's been a right pain in the arse tbh.

You omitted to confirm that 'it was a good night though!

 

[Nellies left peg]

Came out of the pub pissed as a fart and decided (for reasons unknown) that a piggy back race would be a good idea... down the cobbled street. Tripped whilst carrying my mate and ploughed my face into the cobbles, unable to get my hands down. Resulted in losing my front teeth and 18 stitches to chin and nose.

In A&E later with pissed mates, nurse applying stitches apparently said "Normally I'd give you some local anaesthetic, but I don't think you need any".

Perhaps a funny tale but something I've had to live with (teeth-wise) for 35 years and it's been a right pain in the arse tbh.

I did similar years ago and tripping on the kerb dislocated my shoulder and broke my collarbone after my mate landed on top of me. Luckily about 15 pints of Murphys Irish stout lessened the pain temporarily

 

[kaz7]

I am a bit tipsy at the moment t and I don't drink normal!y, needs must and all that

I shall report from casualty later on