30% of pilots In Pakistan aren't qualified to fly

The glamour must be intense as you intelligently trot around the concourse/duty free shops with bucketful of stripes to shoulder. I would love to have been a pilot in my younger years but the training was intense back then. I think I could probably land one now with all that fly-by-wire shite as the hard works been taken away. Yes I know you have to look out for bird strikes and remember to pop the wheels down and stuff but the pay is immense and the clout plentiful. A lad on here called Gelsons Dad even has his own ocean going yacht for gawd's sake. When I was doing Taxis I used to allow my imagination to run wild on the late shift and after a trip to little Burnley taking the many fingered ones clubbing I used to pretend to be a Walter Mittiesque aviator. The cloud cover at the top of Weir which incidentally is one of the highest point in East Lancashire reaches way down into the Moorland scrub and has the effect of making you think you are descending down through heavy cumulus. So I would call out flap settings on decent into Bacup International. The phrase I always remembered from my pilot days on windows 7 was BUMFFICH which is an pneumonic to help me remember (although there are probably slight variations) which is as follows

Brakes
Undercarriage
Mixture
Flaps
Fuel
Instruments
Carb heat
Hatches and harness

Mneomonics are an excellent precursor to education and I used them successfully in my embalming exams to gaion a pass. It wouldn't have mattered a jot to be fair if I was under-qualified as they would never have complained ? In My Supervisors Office My Supervisor Sat ..which is the nine branches of the aorta. I am digressing so... Then I would make my speech which has to be pitch perfect so as not to alarm the victims in the rear ...Good morning passengers and this is your first officer Bob speaking... We are now making our final decent down into Bacup International where the weather remains clement, wind 2 kilometres nor by nor west. In the interests of passenger safety kindly remain seated until we come to a complete halt. On behalf of all the staff may I take this opportunity to thank you for your kind patronage and look forward to your company in the future. Have a safe onward journey and thanks for flying wank-air. By now I am approaching Bacup centre clearing cloud cover and calling for full flaps whilst joining the glide scope for my final decent. A Piece of piss and fair fook to those Pakistani scallywags for trying there arm. I am sure we have something in place at the DLA to stop the use of clone test applicants so I remain alarmed and distressed that this coukld happen in the aviation industry. I can tell you this much and that is you wouldn't get this kind of bollocks with Ryanair and the lads a blue eh. !
That's all well and good double gun, but where's the music video?
May I suggest learning to fly by Mr petty and his breaker of hearts, I'd post it myself but I lack the skills.
 
The glamour must be intense as you intelligently trot around the concourse/duty free shops with bucketful of stripes to shoulder. I would love to have been a pilot in my younger years but the training was intense back then. I think I could probably land one now with all that fly-by-wire shite as the hard works been taken away. Yes I know you have to look out for bird strikes and remember to pop the wheels down and stuff but the pay is immense and the clout plentiful. A lad on here called Gelsons Dad even has his own ocean going yacht for gawd's sake. When I was doing Taxis I used to allow my imagination to run wild on the late shift and after a trip to little Burnley taking the many fingered ones clubbing I used to pretend to be a Walter Mittiesque aviator. The cloud cover at the top of Weir which incidentally is one of the highest point in East Lancashire reaches way down into the Moorland scrub and has the effect of making you think you are descending down through heavy cumulus. So I would call out flap settings on decent into Bacup International. The phrase I always remembered from my pilot days on windows 7 was BUMFFICH which is an pneumonic to help me remember (although there are probably slight variations) which is as follows

Brakes
Undercarriage
Mixture
Flaps
Fuel
Instruments
Carb heat
Hatches and harness

Mneomonics are an excellent precursor to education and I used them successfully in my embalming exams to gaion a pass. It wouldn't have mattered a jot to be fair if I was under-qualified as they would never have complained ? In My Supervisors Office My Supervisor Sat ..which is the nine branches of the aorta. I am digressing so... Then I would make my speech which has to be pitch perfect so as not to alarm the victims in the rear ...Good morning passengers and this is your first officer Bob speaking... We are now making our final decent down into Bacup International where the weather remains clement, wind 2 kilometres nor by nor west. In the interests of passenger safety kindly remain seated until we come to a complete halt. On behalf of all the staff may I take this opportunity to thank you for your kind patronage and look forward to your company in the future. Have a safe onward journey and thanks for flying wank-air. By now I am approaching Bacup centre clearing cloud cover and calling for full flaps whilst joining the glide scope for my final decent. A Piece of piss and fair fook to those Pakistani scallywags for trying there arm. I am sure we have something in place at the DLA to stop the use of clone test applicants so I remain alarmed and distressed that this coukld happen in the aviation industry. I can tell you this much and that is you wouldn't get this kind of bollocks with Ryanair and the lads a blue eh. !

This is an epic TGB post :)

Unfortunately the pilots managed to smash the wheels off the plane in an abortive landing before trying to land again at high speed whilst ignoring all flight control warnings in the recent crash in Pakistan.

Apparently they were engrossed in a discussion about Covid-19 & they switched off the auto pilot.
 
This is an epic TGB post :)

Unfortunately the pilots managed to smash the wheels off the plane in an abortive landing before trying to land again at high speed whilst ignoring all flight control warnings in the recent crash in Pakistan.

Apparently they were engrossed in a discussion about Covid-19 & they switched off the auto pilot.

Easily done and we should not be so critical until after their debrief. How difficult would it be for the auto pilot to drop the gear down via sensors on it's underbelly ?
 
This is an epic TGB post :)

Unfortunately the pilots managed to smash the wheels off the plane in an abortive landing before trying to land again at high speed whilst ignoring all flight control warnings in the recent crash in Pakistan.

Apparently they were engrossed in a discussion about Covid-19 & they switched off the auto pilot.

So, what you are saying is these deaths are due to COVID-19.
“Fuck” if the virus doesn’t get you, the pilots will!
 
Wonder if the Facebook groups in their cities have adverts like "pilot needed for short trip best price gets the job"

Terrifying this has actually happened though. But if they do it with the taxi tests and using the interpreter to answer the questions then it doesn't really surprise me.
 
The glamour must be intense as you intelligently trot around the concourse/duty free shops with bucketful of stripes to shoulder. I would love to have been a pilot in my younger years but the training was intense back then. I think I could probably land one now with all that fly-by-wire shite as the hard works been taken away. Yes I know you have to look out for bird strikes and remember to pop the wheels down and stuff but the pay is immense and the clout plentiful. A lad on here called Gelsons Dad even has his own ocean going yacht for gawd's sake. When I was doing Taxis I used to allow my imagination to run wild on the late shift and after a trip to little Burnley taking the many fingered ones clubbing I used to pretend to be a Walter Mittiesque aviator. The cloud cover at the top of Weir which incidentally is one of the highest point in East Lancashire reaches way down into the Moorland scrub and has the effect of making you think you are descending down through heavy cumulus. So I would call out flap settings on decent into Bacup International. The phrase I always remembered from my pilot days on windows 7 was BUMFFICH which is an pneumonic to help me remember (although there are probably slight variations) which is as follows

Brakes
Undercarriage
Mixture
Flaps
Fuel
Instruments
Carb heat
Hatches and harness

Mneomonics are an excellent precursor to education and I used them successfully in my embalming exams to gaion a pass. It wouldn't have mattered a jot to be fair if I was under-qualified as they would never have complained ? In My Supervisors Office My Supervisor Sat ..which is the nine branches of the aorta. I am digressing so... Then I would make my speech which has to be pitch perfect so as not to alarm the victims in the rear ...Good morning passengers and this is your first officer Bob speaking... We are now making our final decent down into Bacup International where the weather remains clement, wind 2 kilometres nor by nor west. In the interests of passenger safety kindly remain seated until we come to a complete halt. On behalf of all the staff may I take this opportunity to thank you for your kind patronage and look forward to your company in the future. Have a safe onward journey and thanks for flying wank-air. By now I am approaching Bacup centre clearing cloud cover and calling for full flaps whilst joining the glide scope for my final decent. A Piece of piss and fair fook to those Pakistani scallywags for trying there arm. I am sure we have something in place at the DLA to stop the use of clone test applicants so I remain alarmed and distressed that this coukld happen in the aviation industry. I can tell you this much and that is you wouldn't get this kind of bollocks with Ryanair and the lads a blue eh. !
Lol. "Bacup international".

More nuts than KP you Bob; )
 
Lol. "Bacup international".

More nuts than KP you Bob; )

The Monkey used to be good and the crac sound and how I miss the trade but it's dying art form for sure. I would not envy someone eeking a living as the start up costs and overheads outweigh the auntie. A 16th century chimney sweep could earn more and that's without the runners of which are more than plentiful in these them there hills. Royston Vasey my arse and not a gentleman in sight !
 
The Monkey used to be good and the crac sound and how I miss the trade but it's dying art form for sure. I would not envy someone eeking a living as the start up costs and overheads outweigh the auntie. A 16th century chimney sweep could earn more and that's without the runners of which are more than plentiful in these them there hills. Royston Vasey my arse and not a gentleman in sight !
Lol.

Is Cissy Greens pie juice keeping covid at bay up in them there hills Bob?
 

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