BBC News - Arthur Labinjo-Hughes: Dad and partner guilty of killing six-year-old
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-59489765 not seen a thread about this wee boy. Just saw it in news and it has broken my heart. Poor wee critter at hands of absolute scum
Yet another reminder to count your blessings and give love as freely as it was given to you. I honestly don't have any other response.
All of us who escaped parents who thought that the right way to treat us as small kids was to make us stand like statues for hours on end.... we have to be so very thankful, and pass it on, it doesn't have to be that way.
The sad thing is, dad and mum were
probably treated dreadfully when growing up. It doesn't excuse it. Not for a second. It's a warning. Not an excuse. Please don't make the same mistakes. Don't mistreat your children, don't take out your emotions on them, don't treat them like objects. Pick them up and talk to them. Listen to them. Be patient. Be fair. Describe your anger and other things if you have to. Don't use them against the child. When you would be too hard, stop, and love them. And you'll love yourself. You didn't deserve it. It was all a horrible mistake. Break the pattern, break the cycle. Do it the next time it gets too hard. You'll never now love like it.
I'm really not looking to make a political statement. I've just seen far, far too much of this stuff over the last 5 years round mine. And I've seen the consequences. Seen the child born, heard the household, noted in my head what I'm worried about happening, and gone white with horror, cried and screamed, when it does. It's predictable. Parents disciplining children only works if the parent is disciplined themselves. Otherwise it's a massive mistake that will emerge over time. It has to start there. You want your child to act well? Up your game. Tidy up. Work at everything, quietly. Be a good, creative, loving parent. Talk to other parents more. Drop the selfish habits. Don't let yourself be lazy then demand the child works. Watch your voice, watch your tone, watch your language. Everytime you want to shout, or swear, say a funny word. Every time - Be patient. And then see what happens.
And most of all, share. Share your stuff, yourself. With the child, with other people. And always, always ask for help.