Give us your best United jokes please!

[Vienna_70]

A man goes into a pub in the Australian Outback twith an alligator under his arm.

"Do you serve Man United fans in here?" he asks.

"Certainly Sir, no problem at all," replies the barman, nervously staring at the alligator.

"Okay," says the man, "a pint of lager for me and a Man United fan for the alligator please."

Hilarious!

 

[allygee]

What's Fergie's favourite film?

....gone in 60 seconds!


Where's Rooney gone for his holidays?

........los de league!



Why does Fergie plant potatoes in the winter?


.......so he'll have something to lift in spring!



What's red and goes beep beep?


manure's open top bus reversing back into the garage?


Have you heard that Ashley Yound has written a book about his first year at OT?

...........yes, but apparently, it doesn't have a title yet!

 

[DimButBlue]

Family of rags walking down Market Street when the young son spots the City shop. That blue shirt looks fantastc, can I have one? Please.
No says his Sister, giving him a whack on the face. Fuck off says his mum, punching him as hard as she can. His dad then throws him to the ground and gives him a good kicking before saying, I hope you've learned a lesson son.
Too right, says the son. I've only been a blue two minutes and I already hate you rag bastards.

 

[samharris]

Family of rags walking down Market Street when the young son spots the City shop. That blue shirt looks fantastc, can I have one? Please.
No says his Sister, giving him a whack on the face. Fuck off says his mum, punching him as hard as she can. His dad then throws him to the ground and gives him a good kicking before saying, I hope you've learned a lesson son.
Too right, says the son. I've only been a blue two minutes and I already hate you rag bastards.

Like :)

 

[Catzilla]

Family of rags walking down Market Street when the young son spots the City shop. That blue shirt looks fantastc, can I have one? Please.
No says his Sister, giving him a whack on the face. Fuck off says his mum, punching him as hard as she can. His dad then throws him to the ground and gives him a good kicking before saying, I hope you've learned a lesson son.
Too right, says the son. I've only been a blue two minutes and I already hate you rag bastards.

This is by far the best joke I've seen on here yet, I love it!!!! :-)<br /><br />-- Fri Jul 13, 2012 8:57 am --<br /><br />

What's Fergie's favourite film?

....gone in 60 seconds!


Where's Rooney gone for his holidays?

........los de league!



Why does Fergie plant potatoes in the winter?


.......so he'll have something to lift in spring!



What's red and goes beep beep?


manure's open top bus reversing back into the garage?


Have you heard that Ashley Yound has written a book about his first year at OT?

...........yes, but apparently, it doesn't have a title yet!

What's red and goes beep beep?


manure's open top bus reversing back into the garage?


Actually this one is bloody hilarious too....!

 

[jonmcity]

Want to buy some Rag shares, there a good investment honest!

 

[Catzilla]

I imagine the entire NY Stock Exchange will plummet when they are issued...

 

[Quicksilva21]

Family of rags walking down Market Street when the young son spots the City shop. That blue shirt looks fantastc, can I have one? Please.
No says his Sister, giving him a whack on the face. Fuck off says his mum, punching him as hard as she can. His dad then throws him to the ground and gives him a good kicking before saying, I hope you've learned a lesson son.
Too right, says the son. I've only been a blue two minutes and I already hate you rag bastards.

That's the all time blue ribbon winner!!!

 

[r.soleofsalford]

Family of rags walking down Market Street when the young son spots the City shop. That blue shirt looks fantastc, can I have one? Please.
No says his Sister, giving him a whack on the face. Fuck off says his mum, punching him as hard as she can. His dad then throws him to the ground and gives him a good kicking before saying, I hope you've learned a lesson son.
Too right, says the son. I've only been a blue two minutes and I already hate you rag bastards.

ffs you`ve dredged this up and reconstituted it from the early sixties.

i wont say the original as its not very p.c.

 

[RossiBenayoun]

I was asked why the Old Trafford pitch is always in such a state to which I replied it's because they put millions of pounds worth of shit on it every week.