Funniest remark heard at City game?

Nowt to do with footbal but my late father in law always liked his steak bloody and when asked ...How would you like your steak done sir.........? he would reply 'Just cut the horns off and wipe it's arse'.................!
 
These are my personal favourites:

1) "If Stephen Jordan was here today, I would spit in his face" - The bloke stood next to me said this at Blackburn away in the last days of Stuart Pearce. He said it 3 times and really got the hump that the general consensus of opinion was that, actually, if Stephen Jordan was there most people wouldn't spit in his face, just for being a very average full-back. "What? You think he's a great player" "Not really." "THEN WHY WON'T YOU SPIT IN HIS FACE!?!"

2) "That Elano is a disgrace. He looks totally disinterested" - Some Bill Oddie type with binoculars at the game against Chelsea after the takeover. I told him Elano was on the bench. "Yeah, I know, but he looks totally disinterested."

3) "They're not feet players these" Some old bloke during the Stoke game this season.
 
A little girl asked her dad what he meant by 'offside' and some old guy in front just started laughing.

Not sure if true, but I met Paul Lake once and he said he was deemed unfit to play before a game so he decided to get in with the fans. He had a big coat on or something, I can't remember, but it disguised him pretty well.

So he was sitting next to a guy and his two kids and the man ended up shouting "Get bloody Lake off!" Paul Lake then tapped him on the shoulder and said "I'm already off, mate". He was replied to with, "That's the quickest you've moved all season!"
 
ElliotDX said:
A little girl asked her dad what he meant by 'offside' and some old guy in front just started laughing.

Not sure if true, but I met Paul Lake once and he said he was deemed unfit to play before a game so he decided to get in with the fans. He had a big coat on or something, I can't remember, but it disguised him pretty well.

So he was sitting next to a guy and his two kids and the man ended up shouting "Get bloody Lake off!" Paul Lake then tapped him on the shoulder and said "I'm already off, mate". He was replied to with, "That's the quickest you've moved all season!"

Pretty sure that was in Lakey's book as well.
 
Last season, can't remember which game as it seems to happen to me quite a lot. Last few minutes of this particular game and I turn and say to the lads behind me, and my brother, "I'm happy just keeping the ball now", (I'd had city to win 3-0 I think and due to win just short of £100). Just had I'd said it, turned around and aguero was just passing the ball into an empty net!! Queue all the guys celebrating the goal like it was the most important goal ever, me just standing there feeling like I'd been violated!!!
 
Also remember back in early '99 I think when we played notts forest at home when they had David platt as their manager. Think it finished 3-1 to us but seem to remember goater scoring a belter from the edge of the box with his shin!

Anyway, I was sat in the uncovered stand with my brother in between the north and kippax for some reason. When leaving the ground we were trying to walk towards the main stand but got caught up in loads of crowds so was literally stood still as nowhere to move, when out of nowhere some guy starts screaming "OH DAVID PLATT...." Pauses for a a few seconds and then "......HAS GOT BIG TEETH!!" No idea where it came from but just seem to remember everyone pissing themselves! Always think of that when he gives an interview for us. Makes me smile every time!!
 
Someone blaming Lescott for something when Nastasic made the mistake. Lescott was on the bench and he's also black.
 
In the Spurs home game when they pipped us for Champions League.

Peter Crouch came over to take a quick throw in, the whole stadium seemed to fall quiet and some bloke shouted at the top of his lungs 'Oi. Crouchy. Fuck off back to Germany you scouse cu*t'

Still don't know what he meant to this day.
 

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