"Another Face in the Crowd"

[Goatfacekillah]

Is there a loud sound of denial in here?

If football didn't have a problem with homophobia then how is it footballers don't feel comfortable enough to come out whilst still playing (and after)?

I'd suggest that the reason for that isn't really owing to homophobia and more to do with changing room culture. In my experience, any group of lads getting together, especially young lads, are going to be talking about women: the pursuit of them, what they've been up to with them and all the humour and stories around these things. Once that develops as a culture it's quite disjoint with someone coming out. If a given changing room had started out with the knowledge that a player was gay, I suspect that the culture would develop around this and that player would not only be accepted but also included in the banter - there would be no phobia or prejudice. I base this suspicion on British culture.

Now, the 'problem' is that no changing room culture in the Premier, or football, league can start out fresh - they inherit a self propagating culture. I'm not sure that there's anything really wrong with that culture though....

 

[Alma Bear]

I think the author of the blog is being a wee bit 'precious' to be honest.

My boyfriend won't hug me hello/goodbye in public because he was gay bashed when he was 19 and is now afraid to express himself naturally in public.

He was in a coma and spent five days in hospital. He had bleeding on his brain: they nearly killed him.

When people at City shout "Nasri you faggot" they align being weak with being gay. That's stigma. All of these little incidents accumulate into a culture where homosexuality is stigmatised. Ian Baynham was killed in Trafalgar square in 2009.

Examples of extreme violence like that are fairly rare (I would argue because gay men avoid identifying themselves publicly, like the first example above) but the amount of unhappiness this culture causes is immeasurable.

I was too scared to come out until I was 21. Go on any gay dating site and you'll find hundreds of married men living double lives. Look at Gareth Thomas, can you imagine living a lie like that?

Open your mind a little and put yourself in my shoes. You might not think it so "precious" then.

Well said that man.

Excellent blog post, David.

 

[EddieR]

Maybe (almost certainly) because I don't belong to a 'minority' I can't associate with being defined by, say, ones sexuality or ethnicity, particularly with sexuality as it's something we all have, it's just the orientation that differs. Now I know people might accuse me of missing the point, but you never read in the press "the well-known heterosexual x,y,z", so why should someones homosexuality be such a defining trait and be so prominent in reports on or about any person?
Surely, when people make comments about less-than-traditional butch, masculine performance on the pitch, they are alluding to the percentage (I don't know statistically what %) of homosexuals who have a more effite demeanour, rather than the fact that they happen to be born attracted to their own sex.
Also, possibly because so little of my time is spent indulging in sex it would seem strange to be defined by such an occasional act. It would be like being known as 'Stockport County Fan' because I once went there in the early 70's!
There is a problem with large crowd mentality, and that is the desire for people to feel part of a group. In order to do this it helps if you can unite the group against others. This is most brutally demonstrated in the playground with kids picking on anyone who is ever-so-slightly different. When we grow up we are suppose to mature, develop empathy and a respect for others' feelings and sensitivities. Unfortunately too few manage to ascend to these levels of maturity. However, without being blue-tinted myopic about it, I would rather be amongst City fans than mostly any others I've encountered for our sense of fairness and humour and our scorn at bigotry.

 

[Zabbasbeard]

I think the author of the blog is being a wee bit 'precious' to be honest.

My boyfriend won't hug me hello/goodbye in public because he was gay bashed when he was 19 and is now afraid to express himself naturally in public.

He was in a coma and spent five days in hospital. He had bleeding on his brain: they nearly killed him.

When people at City shout "Nasri you faggot" they align being weak with being gay. That's stigma. All of these little incidents accumulate into a culture where homosexuality is stigmatised. Ian Baynham was killed in Trafalgar square in 2009.

Examples of extreme violence like that are fairly rare (I would argue because gay men avoid identifying themselves publicly, like the first example above) but the amount of unhappiness this culture causes is immeasurable.

I was too scared to come out until I was 21. Go on any gay dating site and you'll find hundreds of married men living double lives. Look at Gareth Thomas, can you imagine living a lie like that?

Open your mind a little and put yourself in my shoes. You might not think it so "precious" then.

Excellent post, Blue.
It's really sad that your boyfriend feels that he cannot embrace in public but totally understandable.

Some people on here just don't realise what damage homophobia does, especially the ones who trivialise it by equating it to being fat, or bang on about PC.

I hope things improve and the best way for that is for everyone, my self included to ask ourselves, can I do better? Then do better. Difficult but, necessary.

Best wishes to you and your boyfriend, who I hope will realise that most of us are decent and not prejudiced.

 

[acton28.blog]

Good read, never understood the need to discriminate based on disability, religion, race or sexuality. Further more, at football, why?

I can understand to a degree the UK's perception of wit aimed at the red headed variety - my best mate is a proud Ginger and my Mrs a proud Ginger. I thought this stems from Gaelic and English cabaret style days of wit and gaiety. The difference is when someone intends to cause offence or is interpreted to give offence intentionally. Half the time, the cuplrit is a thicko.

Education, respect all and stop being Alliumphobiacs!

 

[80s Shorts]

for fucks sake,stop being so fucking precious,if your gay your gay,i have a deaf daughter,how many times do you think people say things i could take offence to ? grow up you mard fukers !

eh ?<br /><br />-- Mon Apr 22, 2013 7:25 pm --<br /><br />

for fucks sake,stop being so fucking precious,if your gay your gay,i have a deaf daughter,how many times do you think people say things i could take offence to ? grow up you mard fukers !

eh ?

 

[poh]

Well said mate.

 

[peoffrey]

There are some interesting and thought provoking responses on here but still a worrying undertone that Homophobia is irrelevant, expected or even harmless fun for people being too sensitive. Imagine this blog written about being non-white, disabled or whatever... It'd be shocking to think that it was even being discussed. So much more needs to be done.

 

[lunebleu]

Maybe (almost certainly) because I don't belong to a 'minority' I can't associate with being defined by, say, ones sexuality or ethnicity, particularly with sexuality as it's something we all have, it's just the orientation that differs. Now I know people might accuse me of missing the point, but you never read in the press "the well-known heterosexual x,y,z", so why should someones homosexuality be such a defining trait and be so prominent in reports on or about any person?
Surely, when people make comments about less-than-traditional butch, masculine performance on the pitch, they are alluding to the percentage (I don't know statistically what %) of homosexuals who have a more effite demeanour, rather than the fact that they happen to be born attracted to their own sex.
Also, possibly because so little of my time is spent indulging in sex it would seem strange to be defined by such an occasional act. It would be like being known as 'Stockport County Fan' because I once went there in the early 70's!
There is a problem with large crowd mentality, and that is the desire for people to feel part of a group. In order to do this it helps if you can unite the group against others. This is most brutally demonstrated in the playground with kids picking on anyone who is ever-so-slightly different. When we grow up we are suppose to mature, develop empathy and a respect for others' feelings and sensitivities. Unfortunately too few manage to ascend to these levels of maturity. However, without being blue-tinted myopic about it, I would rather be amongst City fans than mostly any others I've encountered for our sense of fairness and humour and our scorn at bigotry.

If i knew who you were i'd buy you a pint! great Post

 

[dajd1984]

EddieR, Dobsy and OP, great words from you all, much respect and I hope it won't be long before these things aren't an issue.