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Let's hear it for Julian Alvarez. This season he has already got winners' medals for the World Cup. the EPL champions and the FA cup. He's on course for a full house tonight - the Champions League. And he's only 23! Hope he gets some minutes on the pitch. We must score at least 2 goals to win...

Jeffrey Dahmer would be an improvement.

I do remember that game. About 5 players were sent off (3 from Racing club and 2 from Celtic). Winger Bobby Lennox was also sent off but refused to go and gave the ref several V signs as a mark of respect. He also 'helped' an injured opposition player off the field by dragging him across the...

What a vile foul shit house decision - worst of all time!

Sending this message out to all United players and fans - "Welcome to brown trouser country!"

You know in the 1930s in the north of this country it was quite common for as a 21st birthday gift (key of the door and all that) for parents to pay for complete teeth extraction and full set of dentures. The rationale was that all subsequent pain and high costs would be avoided. Unbelievable.

Use inter dental brushes as well for the gaps between your teeth where food traps occur. They're cheap enough (pack of 5 from Poundland). Insert in spaces and gently waggle (sound familiar?) Better than flossing I find. Also electric toothbrush (much better than manual) twice a day for 2 minutes...

We're a much superior side to United in all aspects of the game. Their only game plan is the counter attack with over the top through balls to Rashford. Fernandes and Casemiro are also quite effective. Still they've always got a puncher's chance against us (like Wigan and Chelsea in previous...

So Brentford have had the temerity to complete a league double over us this season, despite being a much inferior side. We shall remember this and administer a sound thrashing home and away next season

Well there's the aqueduct, the barfs, the wine, the roads, central heating, civilisation etc but apart from that.......

Never really doubted that we'd be champs. We've clawed back an 8 (or more) deficit from United and Liverpool before and we could live with the pressure week in week out. Arsenal couldn't do this. They were a young side with inadequate reserves when injury struck. Also Jesus and Zinchenko were...

Mendy - free transfer to Strangeways Rovers (home games only).

Also outside any thin woman there are always two fat men trying to get in.

Pep always tries to win each and every game. Let's get this league won on Sunday in front of our fans against an average and injury hit Chelsea (no silly pitch invasions). In the space of 4 days we'll have qualified for the Champs league final (strong favourites) and Prem league champions. This...

Cancelo should be shipped out asap. If his loan period at Bayern expires and they do not want him (which is likely) he should not play for us again and made available for transfer. Since he left we've gone on this incredible run. We've 2 first class left backs anyway (Ake and Akanji) and this...

What a spiffing idea! May I suggest a complete full colour back tattoo showing a foxhunt in progress. The master holding a stirrup cup and his huntsmen, resplendent in their scarlet coats and black breeches, the hounds and the fox disappearing down the crack of your bum cheeks. Remember no pain...

Arsenal are a young side and just could not live with the pressure in the final straight. We've been there, done it, got the Tee shirt many times now. Everton brushed aside - just like Arsenal 2 hours later. What a boost before Wednesday's crucial game (A MUST WIN!).

Chicago very good (don't go in harsh winter though). Although not on coast it has 7 miles of sandy beaches on shores of Lake Michigan. Great skyscrapers, free museums (on certain weekdays - Science including a working coal mine and U-boat), great aquarium), artworks cemented into ground, great...

At times like this you do regret dropping silly points - basically in the aftermath of the disruptive World Cup. Brentford home loss, Everton home draw, Forest away draw. Spurs and Liverpool away losses not too surprising. Still it's in our hands now, we're still in the boss seat and have the...

The arse took off all their strikers: Martinelli, Saka and Jesus and their playmaker Odegaard. Says it all really. We really schooled the pretenders who have really blown their title aspirations.