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The rags can breathe a sigh of relief, but Blackpool will be throwing their arms up in sheer despair - Steve Bruce is back!

Trainspotter?

They've got one...Mr Bean.

Are they still paying that malodorous, piss-stained despot to just turn up and sit there scowling at everyone? Like some cadaverous ambassador to the underworld? Disgusting if they are. Laying staff off because of cutbacks, but still paying Glasgow's answer to Mussolini a fortune to do...

Oh, there will be another set of rule changes to accommodate them, have no fear. Webb and the Premier league will invent a new rule somewhere along the lines saying: Any Prem team whose home kit is predominantly red and have the words 'Ester United' somewhere in their name, play in the north...

The rag who lives near me (the one who doesn't speak to me anymore) was apparently bad-mouthing Southgate during the Euros. Telling everyone who would listen that he (Southgate) is totally useless, out of his depth, has no idea how to manage a team, etc etc. This morning I hear he's changed his...

But the media in this country are also at fault for not printing the truth about the rags. If now and again the tabloids published an article condemning the club for their actions -paying eye-watering amounts for mediocre journeymen and then selling them at a quarter of the price about a year...

Blasphemy!

The more I see of Rico the more I believe he is going to be one of the best players on earth, and I really do mean that. As for that ginger çunt and his Zidane comparison - I'm speechless, fucking speechless (but not surprised).

It's difficult to have any sympathy for Arsenal, in fact it's nigh on impossible. They have become the real masters of the dark arts under Arteta, and for me Saka is at the vanguard of all that is wrong with this current team: his constant diving and attempts at winning penalties and free-kicks...

But it's every game they play, and it's been like that since Arteta got there. They feign injuries, they waste time, I reckon on average Arsenal players spend more time lying down than they do actually playing.

Flanders and Swann?

Yeah, I see that. But I just cannot help ALWAYS wanting the rags to lose. It's way too early to call this one but the dippers have a long way to go to prove the new man's worth, Ten-Bob has been at the swamp for some considerable time and spent absolute spinal-crushing amounts of money on utter...

He's never actually done anything since signing, has he? He's completely gone off the radar. But I suppose this is what happens when you sign for a nondescript, mid-table club like the vermin.

Raz was a good player but not a great player, but whatever he does in life I'll always respect him for his contribution to our success. But I don't think he'll go to the rags, I just can't see it. That would rattle some cages in Trafford, having been a dipper and then one of God's own: although...

I wonder what he'll be saying when he signs for Forest Green Rovers in a couple of years?

I know I shouldn't mock the afflicted, but sometimes they just don't help themselves.

Dionne Warwick called her 'The most unpleasant woman I've ever met.'

They've got previous for ugly fuckers: Shrek, Luke Chadwick, Phil (the Face), Chuckle brothers, Wio...they must have a conveyor belt.

It seems like they just cannot and will not learn from past mistakes. Go out and spend an absolute avalanche of money on some unknown and untried player from far-off shores. Give him all the pageantry and grandeur as he strides through the front door, trumpet fanfares heralding the arrival of...