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All joking aside, is his appointment something that should concern us? I have to ask because I know nothing about the man and if he's joining the rags, I don't particularly want to know, except of course whether of not he poses a threat to our unrivalled supremacy?

I watched a documentary on Jeffrey Epstein the other night, he looks like a paler version of horseface.

That's one thing I love about the vermin, their wonderful sense of humour. Such whimsicality, such hilarity, such mirthful merriment. We are so looking forward to your next acerbic one-liner: will it be the one about the comb-over king and his prediction that we will never finish above the rags...

It doesn't matter what that club do they get wall-to-wall coverage - unless of course it's something a bit iffy. Sly Sports in particular nailed their colours to the mast 30 years ago, and despite the fact that I stopped subscribing soon after I am led to believe the've reached saturation point...

Well, no one was queuing up for the job so that tells me a lot. And I'm just not convinced by what I've heard about this Amorous or whatever he's called. He'll also need to be a miracle worker if he's going to get the likes of Rashford to put a shift in. Whoever they appoint it's going to be...

They had a relatively good period under the Pisscan/Gill/Riley/Clattenburg/Webb organisation, but before and since they have been nothing to write home about. They have had the media lauding their every move since the formation of the club, and have attracted money because of it. In terms of the...

Yep. For some utterly bizarre reason the club handed over millions and millions to Ten-Bob and he blew the lot on a string of mediocre (mostly Dutch) players that would struggle in our Championship. Suicide! The man must have been deranged for the sheer staggering amount of money he wasted on...

Spanish Dippers - throwing tantrums when things don't go as they wanted.

If you've got a rusty, old, beaten-up banger of a car outside, one with no MOT and no chance of getting one: bald tyres, no brakes and the windscreen has been replaced with polythene, putting a different driver behind the wheel isn't going to change anything. Horseface is going to inherit...

All the years under that demonic **** there was never a mention about the thousands and thousands of 'controversial' decisions that went their way. Riley, Webb, Clattenburg and the rest cheated all the other clubs out of points in order to ensure the rags got their required win - where the fuck...

I think Arteta has some explaining to do. The amount of time-wasting from them is obviously orchestrated, probably worked on in the training sessions. But the question is why? He's got a decent squad with some very good players, he's not tactically naive and he's obviously learnt well from the...

It'll be a damp squib where once again Arse stay compact around their own penalty area, leaving the dippers to hit and hope.

He's a cowardly, snivelling little nobody who sees himself as the Mr Big of the north west: the sort of spineless, playground bully who curls up in the corner and starts crying the moment a bigger kid comes along to confront him. Ratboy will sell the bullets, but he'll make damn sure he's...

Sly Sports placed ratboy into the elevated position he now enjoys. This giant broadcasting company gave him a platform from which he could verbally condemn the Glazers, pass judgment on the numerous rag managers that come and go, and incite hatred and violence from the zebra-clad morons that...

That's all the bloke has ever done throughout his career - fuck knows how he became a professional.

Ballon d'Or? The total lack of self-awareness is quite staggering!

But it's not the other way around, and we're going to enjoy slamming it home to you that you're a shit excuse for a football club.

But didn't all the plastics warn us that Pep was the bald fraud a few years back?

You have to say the Glazers have pulled a masterstroke with what they've done to the rags. Bought them without actually buying them, thereby landing the club with a monumental debt they will never be able to pay: bringing in 25%Jim to take all the flak, and all the time paying themselves a wage...

Ha! I had forgotten Mount even existed. How much did they waste on him again?