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Sparta? More like Sharta. They were absolutely awful and deserved to lose by more. Bus parking shite. Points in the bag, on to the next one.

TRB is a good lad but it sometimes him a bit of time to get a joke. Give him a day or two and he'll start chuckling for no reason... :-)

I was driving home last night and got stopped by the police doing random checks. I gave the officer my driving licence and when he looked at the photo, he said "you should be wearing glasses" When I told him that I have contacts, he said he didn't care who I knew.

First post (under the name) by Sam101. An excellent start.

A farmer heard a knock on the door, so he goes to answer it. There stands a young man nicely dressed. “May I help you?" asks the farmer. “I’m Tobias, and I’m here to fuck your daughter” says the young man. “To what?!!” says the farmer. “Tobias”

It's a two-tier justice system with Labour (as usual) bending over backwards for the wrong people. The country is fucked and Starmer's incompetent, inept government serves no purpose other than to accelerate it's demise. If there's an overcrowding problem, build more fucking prisons rather than...

We weren't interested when we had a £20m option to re-sign him so Spurs signed him for £40m. He's had a decent run with them but he's not worth £20m imo never mind £80m. It's Spurs, it's Levy, it's not happening.

Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out... "Pa you need to go out and fix the outhouse!" Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with it." Ma yells back, "Yes there is; now git out there and fix it." So.......Paw mosies out to the outhouse, looks around, and yells back, "Ma...

A little boy was waiting for his mother outside the ladies’ room of the petrol station. As he stood there, he was approached by a man who said, "excuse me young man, can you tell me where the Post Office is?" The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street take the first...

People get confused converting kilograms into pounds. It's simple. Take the weight you want to convert, say 1.7kg, and google what it is in pounds.

I tripped up over a box of Kleenex and had to go to hospital for x-rays. Fortunately it was just soft tissue damage.

What's the difference between Eric Clapton and Ronnie O'Sullivan...? One plays an electric guitar and the other a cue stick.

PIZZA GUY: Your total is £26.50 **ME:** I can’t afford that **PIZZA GUY:** Well.... you’ll have to find some other way to pay... **ME: [takes out wallet]** Wait... I forgot I still had £30. **PORN DIRECTOR:** Cut! [throws script on the floor]

One of the great characters on here. I don't want to get all Facebook on here but hope he's OK... (hun)

I decided to roll with it