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My mate ordered a book online about premature ejaculation, It came in his email.

Probably, like me, @BlueHammer85 didn't read earlier comments. The 'others' are just as bad. From my own point of view, I was just very surprised to see Karen making a comment like that about another woman.

Bloody hell Karen. That's an unbelievably harsh comment you've made about Tulisa. Try a bit of research before passing negative comment on someone's physical appearance.

After I left school, I got a job as a mannequin in Burton's on Market Street. I held that position for quite long time.

I was very disappointed with the folkloric figure I purchased from my local German-owned supermarket, a complete Humpty Dumpty set. It wasn’t until I got home and opened the box I found that a second purchase was required to obtain Aldi King’s Horses and Aldi King’s Men.

One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah me old mate, I want you to make me a new Ark". Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being, anything you want after all you're the boss... But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch. This time, I do not want just a couple of decks, I want...

Or whales and ships...

"Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient." "Okay then," said Bob, as he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the smallest male part the nurse had ever seen. The length and width were almost identical to a AAA...

There were around 28,300 satellites orbiting the Earth at the start of 2024, an increase of around 6.8 percent on the previous year...

I bought a music ststem at a boot sale the other day. It only plays music by Cream, The Strawbs and The Jam. It's a gateau blaster

Our local amateur dramatic company are putting on a pantomime about a schizophrenic greengrocer. It's called Jack and the beans talk.

The lead singer of Pulp has released a new album consisting of nothing but rooster noises. Seriously, is there no limit to what that Cocker dude'll do?

I'm not going to our local acupuncturist any more. He's a bit of a backstabber.

I found out that the guy who stole my diary died yesterday. My thoughts are with his family.

It's true. He's called 'Welshpool'.

Do you know the name if Sherlock Holmes' son? What son? No, that was his doctor.

A lorryload of Vicks Vapo Rub overturned on the M6 today. There was no congestion for eight hours.