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They are unadulterated shite

Ange will attack, which will suit us fine.

Tent peg's suit looks like something Dennis Waterman wore in Minder

The new class of 92 are coming on

We need them to fluke a dodgy pen

Tarquins flirting with danger here. If they were playing Burnley or Brentford they would have conceded

Antony had a shot. I hope his personal photographer captured that moment lol

Everyone's favourite player has arrived

The Tarquins have been so bad

Garnacho couldn't hit a barn door from a yard away

The swamp dwellers were lucky there

Arsenal are nervous as hell

Very poor display by both teams, only distinguished by Casemiro hobbling out looking like he needed his Zimmer frame, and causing the goal.

The fake Haaland is utter crap.

Why on earth do these deluded raggie fans turn up every week.

Casemiro almost pulled a hamstring when he lifted his foot off the ground. It was such an effort for him.

Does Ben White sit at home under a sunlamp all night.

That goal was because the geriatric blob, known as Casemiro, puffed and wheezed and played the guy onside.

Back in the day I used to set myself up with a nice cuppa and get my humour from such legends as Morecambe and Wise. Now it’s watching this rabble slide further and further into the primeval slime. I can’t ask for anything more humorous than that!

Plenty of heat on the Tarquins now