Search results

My girlfriend of mine once finished with me just because I hid her wheelchair for a prank. She eventually came crawling back to me though

Took a girl out last night with eczema she had a cracking pair of tits

Twin sisters in Sunnyside Nursing Home were turning 100 years old. The local newspaper sends a photographer to take pictures... One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite well. Once the photographer arrived he asked the sisters to sit on the sofa. The deaf sister...

A woman was asked, “When you are a ripe old age, and if you had to pick one, which would you choose:Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s?” This wise lady answered, “Definitely Parkinson’s -- better to spill half my wine than to forget where I put the bottle.”

I bought one of those watches that tell you how far you've walked. It says I did 1500 miles last night. Must be broken. I was in bed watching porn.

Get these fookers in quick before the trail gets cold....

My mrs is the opposite...:-)

set fire to the dirty cunts mattress

No.I have the uncanny skill of spotting when the dragon is after a fight,she still whacked me a few times on my head earlier for putting my yoghurt spoon on her face...<br /><br />-- Tue Apr 15, 2014 9:53 pm --<br /><br /> p.s yoghurt spoon isnt another word for my cock by the way..

Used to live 2 miles from me in a place known as huthwaite,seen him a few times and seems a decent enough bloke..but i still wouldnt trust the huthwaite wanker...lol

Full sized cucumber up your arse whilst letting the next door neighbours dog licks ya bellend.. so ive been told by tcib.

lacoste sport or john paul g..

Police have discovered a book of 20 other women Oscar Pitorious had planned to assasinate. They've called it 'Shinless List.' When the murder happend the police were said to be looking for a sawn off man with a shotgun!

The paralympic winter games has started. The germans are worried that the best person they have to win a gold still hasnt come out his coma

Im half way to hell already...lol

I see Paddy Power are taking bets on Oscar Pistorius murder trial. 9/2 if he's found guilty 1000/1 if he walks

To all you beautiful girls out there Happy Valentines day... To all you fat birds chins up, its Pancake day next week...

I've just paid for my wife and her mother to go to Paris for two weeks. That's how much I hate the fucking French

haha..surf and turf...

Im sorry to say,it also made me laugh..<br /><br />-- Mon Dec 16, 2013 11:34 pm --<br /><br /> mrs says the fruit and veg are second to none..