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On the third date with my current girlfriend we were having a few drinks on the balcony at my old place. I knew I was on for one and thought it would look tremendously romantic and impressive if I started confidently naming all the constellations and their position in the sky. Except it was...

So in four years of marriage you've never had make up sex? If I was you I'd go home tonight and tell her she has a fat arse. You'll thank me later ;D

My missus was dusting the TV stand when I was well into a three hour binge of Minecraft on the Xbox. All of a sudden she decides to start dusting the Xbox and I hear the dreaded 'ding' and the screen goes blank followed by 'whoops'. I shot up out of my chair and shouted, 'Do you have any idea...

Is it the Ariel adverts, with the cynical fucking siblings?

Woodstock in Oxfordshire bit of a way from Manc but the post code's OX20 if you want to give it a blag. I'm sure I read on their FAQ Forums that phone calls are recorded and keptt for a month, the lying twunts.

I've just had to cancel mid contract because I've moved to an area where they don't provide a service. I was intially going to have to pay £180 to cancel. The woman on the phone kept throwing virgin mobile offers at me and I kept refusing. In the end she offered to wave the canellation fee of...

A few years ago I had an anal fissure (sp?) constant throbbing agony for months and there's fuck all you can do about it until it heels itself. If you try and stop yourself from shitting, it's gonna hurt like fuck when you eventually have to. If you eat plenty of fibre and you're gonna be in...

I've heard that they got rid of Horde Mode? If that's true they can kiss my arse. Gears 1 was the best but Horde Mode was a welcome addition to Gears 2. Gears 3 was shocking but Horde Mode was good with the barrier upgrades. The story for Gears 3 was really bad, did anyone else think Marcus'...

As someone born in the middle of her reign and can remember very little I feel very numb to all this. I'm not in the slightest bit offended by the fact this song has emerged in the charts or the partying and celebrating. It does however all feel very forced almost as if the News Channels went...

I'll be honest, I had to google him. It's a great shout, that's pretty much exactly how I imagined him.

This, this and bloody this. I love Strong Belwas he's one of my favourite characters, I will be gutted if they omit from the series. It was a good little introduction to Qyburn though. When he said is name I instinctively gasped and my girlfriend "What? what?,Who's he?" I was like "Oh erm no...

Or Winterfell!!!

Re: FC United - Oral Hearing in London 20th March (p 82) What d'you think?

Well yeah. But when explaining why you'd shit you're pants...

A hate the way in Zombie films they always seem to skirt around calling a Zombie a fucking Zombie, like it's not cool to say Zombie anymore. It's always: "My god, everyones sort of dead. But they're walking and they're trying to bite people .... like some kind of dead walker biter ... or a...

Proper cheeky is Slur... http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/international/alex-ferguson-rio-ferdinand-not-certain-to-honour-england-call-up-8536081.html

No at all I love Batman and City if you must know. So Limbo's for the dead unchristened babies. Who's in Purgatory then?

To be fair you have a point there, for example the poster you're addressing could also be known as Blue Place-for-dead-unchristened-babies. But Blue Purgatory is snappier I must admit.

So, My Brother's an Axe Murderer: A Barton Family History