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Need some help from the IT boys on here. Xmas is around the corner and her laptop should be in a museum, any tips or advice on a new laptop which does all the basics but not too expensive maybe up to £500 max. I know this seems lazy but I don't wanna buy the first bargain I come across which...

Where's that stress ball when u need it!!

Hope it doesn't effect the average otherwise he'll feel like a right tool

When they go to lunch instead of squatting over their desks. Hit Ctrl Alt and the Down cursor key. It turns there screen upside down.

Hi guys, how the fuck do I get my Partner to drive to places. I keep wrecking the city plus running over citizens. I set a waypoint on the map and it says he will drive there, but he just stands there motionless like Wio Camelface!

Anyone got this game on PC? Trying to get my partner to drive but can't make the fucker do it, any tips?

My bad the ticket is in the next block on the lower tier. All sorted cheers

You sure they have 50 tickets left and he said there all in the 2nd tier?

Yo guys I have a ticket for the upper tier but need to swap for one in the Anfield Road Lower 123R . I have friends over from Amsterdam (Ajax lads) I know I'm bound to get grief about non city fans getting tickets but I've promised them a Prem game for ages. Anyway there all over and have...

The little cunts are costing me money, have had 6 jobs cancelled in London today little twats!

He likes shit music!

So your a perve by nature, the curtain twitching type?

What's your post per day count?

Looks more like Parker than Silva but good work nontheless!

On 2nd thoughts we should up the New Topic post count to 250!!

Can't see any voting apart from who will win between Fulham and Spurs. Forza Mancini

We had fun with the paper balls with the cameramen the photographers and the stewards but I agree with Ricster we shouldn't be throwing anything at the players full stop rag or otherwise.

3-1 City, am taking the misses as well, promised her one carling cup game a season and now shes coming QPR away what have a let myself in for.

Little troll bastard, I loved Souness for what he said that night! Fucking spot on

If its during a transfer window I'll be hiding in my bunker in Off Topic!