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I'll go none. It's a trick question; everybody knows you pre tap the thread holes with a steel screw then pop in the brass ones without stripping. :-)

Shouldn't that be braking? ;-)

To be fair CB, I was concentrating on being flippant. I'd better do some more grown up research

Patrick Chukwuemeka Okogwu. Ok, I had to Google it.

I'm a bit late to comment but when I suffered a blocked waste pipe the water board guy suggested saying that the water was backfilling and flooding inside. That way they are more likely to treat the call as urgent.

No coach parties.

No one is saying she was fat, just that she kick started the jumbo jets for a living. Will that do?

It is always amplified when a shooting occurs but I imagine that you (and many many others) are so far removed from the incident that it won't impinge upon your daily life. Much the same as any stabbing that occurs hundreds of miles from me in the UK. That being said, the US gun laws are...

Weren't you tapping someone if they were in a trench with you yesterday or have I mixed you up with somebody else? If it was you then should we be worried for you? :-)

Don't bin the tins 2GB, give them to the food bank. There should be a section near the entrance of the supermarket. Someone will probably be glad of them.

Humour can be rather subjective. I thought my response was quite funny. :-) Knock knock Who's there? DrBlueBob Oh him, he's a ****.

Fourthly; it needs to be funny.

Fix the cigarette lighter.

So @Bill Walker will be fine if he uses it?

What about Goonwilly?

Is it tautological Tuesday?

Sorry, forgot the smiley, I knew it wasn't the pariah Rolf. Never heard of Bob Ross though.

Is that Rolf Harris?

The Slough of despond.