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The theme tune will be playing at my dad's funeral next week.

He's our Oliver Reed. No matter how trollied he gets, no matter the situations he gets himself into, he will always turn up and give his very best. Kyle Walker has quietly morphed into a very, very good footballer. And I never thought that would happen, so slap me round the chops with a kipper.

4-3-3. Bernardo has to start don't you think? Rodri needs a ball retaining compadre that Phillips, sadly, cannot offer at the moment. I've also got a sneaky feeling Rico Lewis might be tried in a midfield 3, with Alvarez, Haaland and Foden as the goal threats. And a 'standard' back 4.

Phillips was ok you know, but he still has a tendency to drift towards an opposition player instead of drifting into space. This creates an oh-shit moment with somebody quickly on him and little time to find a pass. And when he did find space it was usually a pass backwards or sideways. He needs...

I'm getting Rod Stewart vibes from Billy Gilmour

Foden is a joy to watch

Being naughty does elicit some good vibes

Hammers are a well drilled counter attacking team. I just think we'll score more than them, West Ham 2-4 City

If they only had one I'd also argue that was fortunate

Get down United, and stay down

City have a player they can call their own Watching Phĺil Foden in the central role

Let's see who's fit after international duties...

Well aren't I a plonker for not submitting anything. Hey ho

I'm a but obsessed with melancholia and Grandaddy supply it in spades.

I've no idea, very much doubt it. Aren't these songs a trade secret that only Bluehammer and MES are privy to?

As somebody once said of Chris Grayling, is there no beginning to this man's talents?

Grandaddy all day for me, one of my favourite bands of all time. A surprise to see them in this competition at all and I doubt they'll even make the QF stage - not many have heard of them, but they should just about squeeze through to the next round.

Played sir

As soon as the team picked up the pace of the passing, we got a penalty immediately. Missed it but meh, it happens. More slick, first time passing required, would like to see Grealish TAKE HIS FUCKING MAN ON AND DRIBBLE PAST HIM, for once. Other than that maybe one goal is enough for us today.

Commentary for Haaland: 'He initiates the contact, then goes down. For me that's not a penalty." Commentary for Rashford: "He initiatesthe contact and he has every right to go down. Its a clear penalty".