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Hope so.

OFF OFF! OFF!.... Thought not.

That isn't an answer.

Oh feck right off.

Why haven't Chelski got a sponsor?

Nor will you ever.

I like it.

WTF? The ball did not go out. No replay all the same. This is witchcraft.

Spending mad amounts of money on players they don't need whilst calling us cheats and accusing us of financial doping. Lying, hypocritical twats.

Karma.

GTFI.

No. Which is why Chelsea have just offered me £300 million for my bath mat. I have turned them down for such a low ball opening offer.

Jesus, what's going on with Raheem? He's playing a blinder.

Get in you Irons, or leastways your keeper.

As opposed to being buried being under that same blinding moonlight for well over a decade now, whilst simultaneously STILL telling anyone who will listen that they couldn't care less about us. And being laughed at by the whole world for pretending to believe that. Meanwhile, every non-Rag knows...

The colour red literally brought on unbearable migraines for me between the ages of 15 and 20. I kid you not.

I hope you also pointed out that you will have, BTW, been dead for 100 years by the time those Rag tossers win the LEAGUE again.

No, it's because, when City lose, I find that sending a note expressing my outrage via a message in a bottle never seemed to work for me.

That's because everyone who works in the ticket office is psychotic. It is undeniable.