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I think we need to change the wording in the title from 'Government' to 'Administration' 'cos the last thing I think is that I'm being 'governed' but about to be mugged. I wonder if GMP could send round a bobby to cover my back as I'm coming out of Lidl!

Apparently when the ball first hits yer knee yer can safely get away with a handball. The most overriding issue is that I think he put the ball out for a corner after it hit his hand. Pity Greasy Jack couldn't have had the ball hit his knee before it wafted his cuticle. But when the dust...

The pisspoor Attwell would be not my choice but he'll turn up. I'd rather have Slot reffin' than any of the usual whistling wankers.

They've made it difficult this week. The back line was solid, Donnarumma would have had a clean sheet had the yellow-clad clueless impostor with the whistle done his job along with the useless collection in the VAR shed, the midfield was always covering and probing, Doku was giving Bournemouth...

Yeah, straight from the Clive Thomas school of reffing. He would dearly have loved for the corner to be taken, City to score, and then he would hold up his whistle, the wanker, and inform the world that he had blown for HT just before the ball crossed the line.

This is what football should be - inside forwards all over the pitch, Just as Rinus Michels played the game.

I was hoping it would be that kind of team. Congrats to B&BAfc for coming and playing an attacking game. Nothing suits us better. It was a good solid team performance from front to back. The only poor performance on the pitch was from that shitehawk in the yellow.

Didn't we have a Laporte goal ruled out for breathing on Allisson a couple of seasons back. Question: What's the difference between Taylors performance today and the contents I last flushed out of the downstairs toilet at Ewing Towers. Answer: Yeah, ok, it's an easy one. The downstairs...

What's with the Leicester kick off after the second goal? Had the whistle gone and then the ref's blown for HT? The Leicester forward just punted the ball fifty odd yards over the touchline for a City goal. Methinks Leicester are getting their knickers twisted round their bollocks and it's...

Thirty seconds in and a City guy grabbed by a defender's hand, goes down. The LotG say pen and red card. What outcome? Fuck all. Next time the ball's on the halfway line free kick to Leicester. Just another Whistling Wanker making a balls of a day at the office.

And a Villa fan! No alleged. Seen in plain sight cheerin' 'em on!

Just another ten or so games and Liverpool will have snatched the longest run of consecutive defeats in the PL.

Noooo! I regard FOCs to have status on reaching 60 whether yer still driving a 40 tone artic or staggering up the spirals. The only other stipulation is that yer sit in CBL3!

I think that Bournemouth might play a more open, football-oriented game rather than the stuff we have seen from them at The Etihad over the last few seasons. If they thnk they can get three points off us then it will be an open game?

Stockport County should be paid a fee for Foden supporting City as a four year old.

On the night when PL teams came unstuck the BBC come up with this headline: Four-goal Rotherham floor Man City in EFL Trophy The Arse shipped four against Exeter but their woe only appears halfway down the article. The day the BBC are required to beg for subscribers I shall be among the...

The first time I visited Maine Road we sat in the main stand on brown-painted pews. i thought I was in church, and my prayers had been answered - we'd whipped Blackpool 2-0!

These games are evenly balanced between formality 'n banana skin. Swansea will be right up for it, egged on by a home crowd. I hope Pep doesn't undercook the starting eleven and we end up chasing a game that should be effort v quality with the latter delivering.

And yer can't find a better place to land the blame than the Whistling Wankers who have allowed the LotG to be suspended at corners unless there is an isolated instance of a defender throwing an attacker to the ground which, if ignored, would be on a loop for the following week. We know it's a...

The problem for 'footballing' teams is that they probably spend little time on the training ground defending corner after corner, upfield hoof after upfield hoof, or launched thow-ins deep into the penalty area. Teams who can't play attractive open football 'cos they haven't the personnel might...