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It's a Binatone record player.

I'm sorry but I'm going to have to turn down your invitation.

Great cliff hanger ending on Blue Lights tonight.

Leafblowers who blow the leaves out of their garden onto the road. The trees are in your garden. They're your responsibility. Selfish antisocial twats. I would love to see the council workers blow the leaves back into their garden.

That twat Garnacho who sits on the wall with his back to the crowd when he scores. What an arsehole.

Watched the final episode of The Americans last night. It was a very emotional end to what I think has been a brilliant series.

A bloke I knew had a five and quarter inch floppy.

They don't know we're in the shaved minge era now.

I listened to a few minutes of Gascoigne promoting his new book on Talk Sport yesterday. He was asked how many titles he thinks he would have won if he had signed for the rags. They have to shoehorn those bastards into every conversation.

Simple solution. Tell Posh to stop taking it up the arse.

At times it's antisocial media.

Being on a planet anywhere in the vicinity of Americans.

What? They won 90-0.

What's mince?

Try telling that to Trump, Musk, Zuckerberg and every football journalist with the exception of Martin Samuel.

We are living in a me me me world.

True facts are the best facts you can get.

Has anyone ever looked up the word Thesaurus?

Get yourself a half and half scarf. You'll be fine.

I've just checked my bank account. He's not had hundreds of thousands off me.