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It’s funny really, we’re all panicking about full back cover but the scousers have very little. TAA backup is a teenager called Ramsay and Robertson is tsmikas who is decent but nothing more. if we sign Gayá or similar for 30m I think we’re all good with 3 quality senio full backs and a good...

Doctor I can’t get a pulse!

Yeah but his automatism is really first rate

Ring him again Txiki, offer another £100k in add ons

Ah in that case lower the offer from £15m to 14m including add ons

Ah in that case up the offer from £15m to 16m with add ons

I’d love cucurell, only alternative I can think of is Gayá

Only if he plays like he did yesterday

Alvarez looked lively and better than mahrez. Foden looked lively and better than grealish. Haaland looks like he needs a bit more time to get sharp and fully integrate. Cancelo awful first half bit better second. Our best lineup for me: haaland alverez foden kdb bernie rodders walker dias...

If cucurella deal is completely dead why don’t we try for gaya? Seems to be decent left back and his contract is up next summer so will be much easier to negotiate a decent deal. Would think £30m would be a goer

Certainly if not regular army/conscripts. But any Wagner or fsb? If I were a ukrainian soldier I’d shoot them straight out even though they might surrender, they are the worst of the worst.

I don’t want Bernie to go I love the little fella. But if he insists on leaving just do a swap with de jong plus 10-15m. We get a decent player in, more dosh, and piss the rags off. Yes I’d rather keep Bernie and yes de jong isn’t quite the same player but sometimes life isn’t perfect!

Any possibility of a player going the other way Tolm?

could be he looks a bit of a twat when I looked!

Wow Not the kind of person you’d normally think would get up to shite like that! If he’s reading this, he’s a Cnut!

Who’s the littleborough journo mate?

For a small while I wondered if he was moonlighting as frank Sidebottom. Ridiculous I know, as frank Sidebottom would of done a much better job.

Presumably there’s some very nervous Russians guarding these ammo dumps! I’m guess a few scores of them at least bit the dust during each glorious himars strike. I wonder how long they can sustain this loss of ammo?

To be fair I remember a very young Jesus coming over direct from South America and doing very well in his first few games, I can see Alvarez doing similar, he is a year or two older I think?

Well, we’re looking to improve on every outgoing so I’d say Robinho