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Tell him to get the 216 from Ashton to Manchester, then get off opposite the large Asda store, then it's just across the road.

I remember when we lost at Sunderland in the cup replay in 1973 (they beat Leeds in the final), one of the papers' back pages the following morning had a headline of "Allison Blunderland"! We lost 3-1 after a 2-2 draw at Maine Road. A shit night all round, capped by being stopped by the police...

Less of the little!

Shouldn't that be sheep? ;-)

Is she a native American?

Nobody likes bad beer. It leave a nasty taste in the mouth.

They've now got Tom Daley on their coaching team.

Why? Did someone rip his teeth out and put seats in?

No, they fell off that. And don't call me Shirley.

Great summary of your strengths and weaknesses, but the emboldened bit made me chuckle. I take it your owners have a couple quid they could find at the back of the settee, just like ours. But then again, you will be hamstrung by FFP, unlike Chelsea, who have American owners. I hope you can...

Nice Derbyshire village, but a bit bleak in winter.

Thursday nights beckon!

They're from Yaarkshire, so they're more likely to shag sheep than fight sleep.

They're pinching our history. What next? Scuttlers were members of neighbourhood-based youth gangs (known as scuttling gangs) formed in working class areas of Manchester, Salford, and the surrounding townships during the late 19th century.

Make mine whisky.

I did. Born and bred in Ashton, then moved to Stalybridge when I was 27. I moved to Woodley 38 years ago and have been here ever since. I used to live on Mill Lane in the 1950s, and the house is now the annex to the HSBC on bank on Stamford Street. Ashton has changed dramatically since I...

It was the same in the late 60s. You had to have your wits about you on the way back to the coaches at Elland Road, as they lay in wait for you. In those days, we were in the open end (now their "Kop"), and they were in the notorious "Scratching Shed" end, but the coaches were parked up the...