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I'm always late when driving my biscuit delivery van. Apparently I have a slow digestive transit....
I just turned down a job at my local fruit and veg shop.
They offered to pay me in vegetables, but the celery was unacceptable.
Does anyone need an Ark? I Noah guy.
Just got back from Tesco, i thought I'd leave it late so not to mix with the unwashed, not shopped for a week.
No - soap, bog roll , kitchen...
Yes, I used to pop in 2-3 times a week on the way home and thought they were mostly decent people.
My opinion has changed they're just fucking...
Just walked the dog past my local, I've not been in there for over 3 weeks, about 7 in there all sat together, 1 guy I know is in his 70s with his...
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the riverbank looking like an idiot.
Stop carping on about it
You're Codding me, there's a thyme and Plaice for a post like that.
If you can think of a better fish joke.....let minnow.
I'm not going, I have an elderly Ma at 83 and my partners parents are in their late 70s.
I just can't take the risk.
I really wish I had posted this, your just a bunch of Blue Tits, your beginning to peck my head with it all.
However I'll Eagley await further...
Is anyone considering not attending the Arsenal game due to fears of exposure to Coronavirus?
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with his bird puns, but he soon realised that toucan play at that game.
Last year I raised money for charity by sitting in a bath full of Indian food.
I won’t be doing that again in a curry.
I've decided to put my glove puppet collection up for sale, who wants to take them off my hands?
Tesco says they are to axe 1800 jobs in their bakeries.
I hope the staff will find new rolls to fill...
Female wanted, must have own pub.
Apply with inn...
I got chatting to a lumberjack in the pub.
He seemed like a decent feller...