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Monkey brains, probably.

I like cycling, but at 58, I'm past all that pedalling up hill shit. Do you have an electric bike? I just want to cycle on the flat and glide downhill but sod the uphill stuff. If you do have one, what model is it and do you recommend it or is it a bit of a novelty thing that ends up gathering...

Mine is "lightweight". Your's doesn't have to be different. It could even be sweary. I resisted that but only just.

.... And if so, how would you go about it?

.... and why?

My husband did £1200 worth of damage to the car last night hitting a bollard at 2mph whilst trying to park. He forgot to turn his headlights on. Does he deserve to live?

What is your most ridiculous fear?

So I asked Alexa earlier who the CL winners 2023 are. She said Madrid. So I asked her again and she said Chelsea. So then I asked her who won the Treble in 22/23 and she said Manchester United. She is a hideous Rag woman and I have stamped on her and chucked her out the window. Go and, try it...

All this talk of who of the Manchester team and the Trafford Treble team was the better (it's City) and all the talk of history. Why don't we ever hear about City being the ONLY ever winner of the domestic Treble? So who, in historical terms, has the better Treble history, City or Trafford. Have...

Do you have a song you associate with the the rise of our great club. 1. She Bangs The Drum 2. Size of a Cow (Are you Laughing Now) Like a Rolling Stine (Bob Dylan). The mods are going move this to the music thread, innit? But the players wouldn't be very good if they did.

That's me and Leicester City, that is. Don't like them, Yet I can't recall them giving me any particular reason beyond just not actually liking them. Who are your baseless pet hate clubs?

Let us keep calm. Beat Madrid. Win one more Prem game. Put Utd in the bin. Beat Milan. Not impossible but not exactly a given ... except for the Prem triple. Not afraid to say I think that's in the bag. What a beautiful, beautiful day. And big up to Brighton, you little belters.

Is it evil to bet on City to lose a big match or is money no compensation? I am scared. But I know people who do it. Money is the root of all evil, though, so I'm not doing it. But I think Arsenal are 5-1 to win, which seems generous odds to me. Don't care. Not doing it. Who admits they have? Or...

Do I stop being a chicken; buy a lawn mower; watch a You Tube video and risk scalping the thing. Or do do I hire a new Gardner? Advice from anyone who learnt how to garden a bit later in life would be much appreciated. Unless you trashed it all.

It has just occurred to me that I have been hyper stressing about specific football games 5 times over five separate days since last Saturday. The stress comes and goes but it' stays there for hours each of these match days. And NOW I have come to the disturbing conclusion that the sight of a...

Didn't expect much anticipatory pre- match day horror this, season even as recently 3 weeks ago. More mediocrity and maybe an FA Cup Final. I certainly wasn't worried about having to dive behind the sofa at odd moments or por accidently on purpose sit on the remote for 10 seconds at...

Would you press the YES button, meaning we lose 5-0 to the Scum at Wembley, if it ALSO meant City winning a PL and CL double? BIG FAT YES button or you're an idiot.

Is there some reason why the bastards at our club do not understand that it is illegal for City to lose? If they think I haven't called the police to report them about this, they've got another think coming. Losing to Southampton was clearly done on purpose and the courts will fine them for it...

I remember Luton and bloody David Pleat (barely but just about) and then the debacle when we thought a draw would do on the last day and we were keeping it in the corner with Niall Quinn screaming "no, we need 3 points"! And then getting relegated at Ipswich has always haunted me for some...