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One day a lady came home and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was somewhat upset.. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce...

I know his brother... Just not!

I'm not doing F.A. Cup this year. After last years 2 games I was knackered. I'm 66 now had a bypass 2 years ago. It's a long long day. Hopefully I'll be able to do the CL then it'll be time to have a rethink.

Some early morning Rags on faceache now saying " looks like City have got away with it!" Screaming for blood and retribution. Apparently Neville and Spitty kept quiet. I've missed it so not quite sure what's going on!

Send the bus with just the training gear/kits on. Meanwhile the team arrive in a fleet of Mercedes Vianos. Vinny runs a chauffeur company doesn't he?

1 adult still available. Will take £30. Good seats Will guarantee next round ticket at face value if someone buys! Wife not able to go tomorrow so she can get lost next round.

There was a Tim Hortons concession in Spar at T2 in the airport about 10-12 years ago. Coffee was shite. Never went in again.

“Oooh butter’s gone up” “What are you watching? A Tesco advert?” “No. Last Tango in Paris.”

2 in family stand. 240 Row B 1 adult. £42:50 1 concession. £35 Or will sell adult on its own. Concession will need to be topped up if buying that too, think it's another £7.50 must have supporters numbers.

Peter Reid is looking well.

At least they can send him the shop!

There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me." And...

I think that is the perfect response. They'll soon shut up.

My friend aged 66 retired last year. 25 years in the same job. Got his state pension in March this year. Got cancer in October, died after 3 weeks, pension not touched. He's divorced so no one gets the pension now. Changed my attitude to life. I'm spending the fucker. My missus got comfortably...

That an email is confidential so how can someone steal it and use it against you. Why does every email have this confidentiality contained so therefore making it inadmissible?

Every email has a similar statement contained within it. This is from Barclays Bank today. Is it just me that doesn't get this?

Sent DM

The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier. "Stay there baby" she said to me, "while I nip upstairs and put it on to show you." She came back down, opened the living room door and stood before me. "Wow honey, that's a winning costume you've got there." I told...

Yes mate

2 adult tickets North Stand Level 2 Row B 239 Just near to goal. Need supporters number to send friends and family. £70 for both