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The question of pollution from traffic in big cities is in the news again. Now I wondered at the time about bringing the training from Carrington into a big city, so I ask; is the air pollution level at the academy pitches measured on a regular basis, and if so what are the results. Sorry if...

Picture in the mail of Ilkay on Instagram hiking in some woods in the pissing rain. Hashtag 'British weather.' Well FFS Ilkay pick your day. We've had some lovely warm days here recently, just choose the right day, there's no need to go hiking in the pissing rain, even in Manchester. Knob.

After just being beaten 3. 0 by Derby. " Well we battered 'em." YCNMIU

The media's been full of this shit about changing speed humps, 20mph zones etc. to reduce pollution. Why don't they just time traffic lights better. For instance the exit from Georges road near B&Q in Stockport can only turn left, so this could coincide with the right turn filter from the A6...

Yep. Our PM has promised Polands PM we will send 150 troops to Poland to shore up their defence against Russian aggression and show our commitment after Brexit. Phew, I bet Putins shitting himself.

I see Patrick's here on a flying visit. If he is being groomed as City manager surely one day soon, maybe next season, he should be moved back here to work with and study under Pep. He would then move up when Pep eventually leaves, much as Pep did at Barcelona.

A lazy ill informed twat of a journo named Samuel Lovett has written in the Independent slagging off Pep for loaning out Nasri, Boney, Hart and Mangala instead of selling them,saying we could have re-couped thousands. Not once does he mention their salaries that no-one will pay, just slags off...

Yep, remember St Helena? Thought not, last time it was in the news Napoleon was incarcerated there. Tiny rock in the South Atlantic, has about 1 mail boat a month from South Africa. British dependency. Anyway the British government have just built an airport on top of a cliff there. The first...

Just got in a bit pissed and attempted to watch a Roger Moore bond film. What a load of cack. They might as well have made a carry on film. I'm a Bond film fan and rate almost all the Bonds, especially Connery and Craig, but Moore, Jesus Christ they just made comedy films, totally fucked up the...

Yep, Clattenburg wouldn't last a minute in Argentina. According to the Mirror a bloke got sent off and returned with a gun from his backpack and shot the ref 3 times. That's the spirit.

Yep, over in Germany 3 clever bastards tried to rob a condom machine by blowing it up. Not sure whether they were after the johnnies or the money. Anyway one of them didn't get out of the way quick enough and got killed by the flying shrapnel. What a knobhead. His mate looked down and said...

Sorry, don't know how to post links but if you go to 'MSN Lifestyle' page you will find 'The 21 best hourglass bodies of all time.' Including a very classy pic of Sophia Loren for us oldies.

Yeah, I too thought this was a Monty Python sketch but I kid you not. A bloke wearing his boxers on his head, presumably as a disguise, and brandishing a knife has robbed a store in Yeovil. Said to have a dark complexion or dirty skin, dirty twat should have washed the fuckers before he stuck...

On 10th Oct. England play a rugby world cup game at the Etihad. 7 days later we play Bournemouth at home. Our head groundsman has said he winces every time he sees a player do a knee slide goal celebration along the grass. What the fuck does he think 17/18 stone rugby players studs are gonna do...

Yep, you heard right. As if all the guns in the U.S aint enough there's a bloke making and marketing a fucking flamethrower. This thing throws a burning napalm like substance 25 feet, you can imagine the effects. The twat calls it a 'cool tool'. Seems there is very little legislation against...

Sooner or later David's going to need a break/get injured/suspended. So could Nasri play his role in the middle, behind the striker. He has the skill and does not give the ball away, and might not have to track back like a wide player, but tends to slow our attacks down. So what do you think...

Yaya seems to be undroppable when he's fit. Dinho's on fire, we haven't seen Fernando yet. Delph must get in the C.L. squad cos he's English, so who gets dropped when he plays?

So the Brits have sent 2 cops to Magaluf to help curb any trouble. They are working shifts from 7.am to 10.pm. WTF. Seems they are trying to avoid the trouble, not curb it. The kids will still be in bed for most of that shift. Haha YCNMIU.

So the Saudi king and his I000 entourage take over a French beach and villa, installing a lift and flying in by private plane. Meanwhile in Saudi's neighbour Yemen where the Saudis are in a coalition with the government against rebels, the UN has asked for 1.6 Billion dollars in aid for the...

So you're out and about and you spot a nice looking gal, might be nice legs, nice bum, boobs or just damn gorgeous. The point is she aint looking your way, she could be across the street, in a crowd, perhaps many yards away, so you take another look, nothing pervy, just an appreciative glance...