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New Manchester United signing Shinji Kagawa has arrived at Old Trafford with his girlfriend, who is an Asian Pornstar. 'It can be difficult moving to a new country, but I will do all I can to welcome them and I will treat Shinji like a brother' said Ryan Giggs.

Earlier today I pulled up at the traffic lights at the junction of Chester Road and Warwick Road. A couple of tourist's crossed the road laden down with souvenirs from the swamp in a plastic (very appropriate) carrier bag. The bag had Champions printed on it!! I smiled and drove on. Looked to me...