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The game would have ended 5 minutes earlier and we'd already be in the bath if this was us

I'd love to see the stats of how much time gets added on when different teams need a goal. Nothing dodgy going in at all...

Classic Van Dijk, makes zero attempt to stop the shot. Never seen a defender so averse to making an attempt to stop chances, he'd rather stay casual

You'll do well to find a first half performance worse than that that didn't result in a team going behind. Christ Newcastle are shite. No idea how they've gotten away with that half, they kept randomly kicking it into people and sliding the stop through balls to no one. How Liverpool didn't...

Never seen a winger with as little attacking intent as Grealish, even the drunken carthorse overlapping him has more desire to attack. Every promising attack has ended with him taking too long to do nothing, I've no idea what anyone sees in him. Meanwhile Walker looks completely done, we should...

Fucking shit.

Thats usually the case if you slow down to aa stop every time you get it, waiting fir all their players to get back. He's seemingly allergic to breaking into a jog if he has the ball at his feet

Does Grealish get a bonus every time he slows down a counter attack and passes it backwards. Fuck me mate, drive at someone you coward

Just think he's painfully average tbh

Honestly think it's an Emperors New Clothes thing with him. People desperately trying to convince you he's actually doing something, not wanting to admit he basically does nothing at all. He gets away with it when the rest of the team bail him out by creating goals, but I swear it's never him. I...

Ref looks to have set his stall out pretty early with the different standards foe fouls depending on which team does it.

But it worked? For all the dullness and ugliness, they gave us as good a game as they were ever likely to and nearly even got a point. Its a shit watch, but criticising a dogshit Championship sides tactics after they've nearly gotten a point against the best team in the world seems pretty silly...

Go toe to toe. I hate phone keyboards

Tbf, Sheffield United are shit and they know they are shit. Going at us would be suicidal. They were a bang average Championship side who then lost their 4 best players and barely signed anyone, expecting them to try and ho toe to toe with us us insane.

Hard to imagine us winning a game where we collectively play worse than that,but a wins a win at this stage of the season. Tough to give anyone above a 7, except maybe Rodri, while there were at least 4 or 5 genuinely bad individual performances. We take the points and move on, but we need to...

Nailed on pen

Jack really needs to offer something in these games against packed defences, he's so easy to deal with. Just slowly back off and he'll eventually get a nosebleed, turn back and pass it backwards. Drive st someone ffs

The refs aren't even subtle are they?

Pretty much all our CBs look good if they play with him, he improves everyone. Absolute beast

Dias back and we finally look solid again, what a surprise. Bring him off, we go back to being all over the place. He improves us so much