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when I was a teenager a new takeaway opened near us and did a 2 4 1 on orders for the first week. I decided to try it out and got two hot curries. I ate half of each in my room watching a film and left the trays on the floor. Our sneaky jack Russell cross decided to have a dabble and polished...

My lad is almost 4, he's going through a hiding stuff phase. I have found the milk in the washing machine and his glasses too. He's also taken the remote control to nursery in his rucksack.

They don't make hero's like Bert any more. RIP TRUE blue.

Hope he does get a chance, it'l do a lot for the academy if we get a good goalscorer from it. Not had much good news or good press for a while.

In todays money mad world its a really good gesture.

Poor Manny, we are thinking about you at this sad time.

The salad, but fuck it I'm avin a burger.

Whiskey and then how did they manage to drink enough to get drunk on it.

Gone to specsavers.