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“Goals and assists are irrelevant in modern football”….. I’ve heard it all now. This place is like the gift that keeps on giving.

Not great today to say the least. I think the time is right this summer to say our goodbyes.

By the skin of our teeth. Players look understandably absolutely fucked.

You must be rolling in it to have not missed £10k a month for 12 years going missing!

Jesus. Just give me 10 mins to start off the parody thread…..

Pro Sports Advice absolutely killed it at Aintree today. 7 races tipped, 5 won, 2 lost (1 of those fell).

Just finished Kin season 1. Pretty good!

Foden and Diaz’s bandaged up hands. Been months now. Drives me mad. What the fuck can possibly be wrong???’

I thought the same.

Poisonous abuse. Do me a favour you flake.

Truth bombs.

‘Piling into the lad’ - What an overreaction. Some people have merely said he can do better. Give your fanny a wipe. Do you think he’d have been happy with his performance last night in which he produced a grand total of 1 shot when he’s reputedly the best striker in the world?

Stick that in your pipe Southgate you clueless, waistcoat wearing twat.

1 shot the whole game. Not as if they shut up shop either. Poor by his standards.

Nowhere did I ‘wade in’ on him. Stop being hysterical.

Great game last night.

It’s damn close I’ll give you that.

I wonder whether we sometimes have sacrificed a system that could have conservatively scored 6 last night for a less goal heavy one just to accommodate Haaland.

Set fire to the van, if it’s insured, then use the pay out money to put towards a new one.