Search results

  1. K

    Joke thread

    Breaking News: Jigsaw murderer falls to pieces at trial and gets sentenced to 4 years and over.
  2. K

    Joke thread

    My wife is very upset with me. She found some letters I’d been hiding. She says she feels betrayed and has lost all trust in me. I can’t say I blame her; I feel so ashamed. I wouldn’t be surprised if she never plays Scrabble with me again.
  3. K

    Joke thread

    As a kid life was tough. My neighbours would throw things like sponge mix, strawberries and whipped cream at me just for kicks. It was hard growing up in the gateaux.
  4. K

    Joke thread

    My neighbour just said that a row of books fell off the wall and landed on his head. I said, you've only got your shelf to blame.
  5. K

    Joke thread

    Last weekend, someone stole 20 cans of Red Bull from my car. Bastards!!..I don't know how they can sleep at night.
  6. K

    Joke thread

    If you've never worn a blindfold at a Clay Pidgeon shoot before, you should try it. You don't know what you're missing.
  7. K

    Joke thread

    Well...with a lot of the stores on the high streets closing down, antique shops will soon be a thing of the past.
  8. K

    PL charge City for alleged breaches of financial rules

    You make that sound like a bad thing.
  9. K

    Joke thread

    Did you know that the first sign of madness is when you see Suggs walking up your driveway?
  10. K

    Joke thread

    A chopper..apparently.
  11. K

    Joke thread

    Cliff Richard.
  12. K

    Joke thread

    Dynamite was invented by Alfred Nobel. At first, he didn't have a name for it. Then it blew his house up and he said, 'This stuff's dynamite'.
  13. K

    Joke thread

    It must be great being the Lead Guitarist with The Shadows. All he has to do is say his name and people give him food.
  14. K

    Joke thread

    My wife said I should be more in touch with my feminine side. So I crashed the car and ignored her all day for no reason.
  15. K

    Joke thread

    The wife will go spare when she finds out I've lost her only copy of Beethoven's Unfinished Symphony. I'll never hear the end of it.
  16. K

    Joke thread

    Happy Pancakes Day to all the tossers out there.
  17. K

    Joke thread

    Just had a rather embarrassing email back from Screwfix. Apparently, they're not an online dating agency after all.
  18. K

    Joke thread

    The bloke who invented cats eyes did so when a cat was walking towards him. If the cat had been walking away...maybe he would have invented the pencil sharpener.
  19. K

    Joke thread

    Gambling addiction hotlines might get a lot more gamblers ringing in if every tenth caller was a winner.
  20. K

    Joke thread

    I asked my German friend if he knew what the square root of 81 was. Apparently, he doesn't know.

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