I have a good friend, known each other since school, we are both turning 40 this year.
He is an alcoholic, and he knows this. He doesn't drink Mon - Thursday (Except for holidays and days off) because he once bet a girl (that he hasn't spoken to in over 20 years) that he wouldn't, but from Friday, where he meets his mum at 3pm, knocks back 2 bottles of wine before 5.30pm, and will then go on to drink until he passes out.
He will happily do a bottle of spirits in a night, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, plus beers down the pub with mates or family if people are doing something.
He will drink on his own if no-one is around, if he has mates over he will drink till he has passed out and we lock up after him as we leave, he has passed out at the poker table on card night, if we were meeting up as a group and he had to drive, he would leave by 9 / 10pm so he could go home and drink himself stupid. We're not even a big bunch of drinkers, in the Summer we all met over at a mates who has a big garden, Wags were all their, most of them have kids from babies up to 8/9 years olds. I think i probably had the most booze as i took 5 cans with me i had in the fridge - he turns up with a few beers and bottle of cinzano - for an afternoon chat. It cost him his long term partner who left him last year, after being together for 7 years.
Thing is, he says he loves it, he knows he is an alcoholic, but has no desire to change. He is on tinder, if a woman's profile says she likes a drink he see's it as a positive. We are all worried he is gonna struggle to find anyone who will put up with his habitual drinking and in turn that will lead him to drink more.
We have been thinking about trying to talk to him about it, stage some sort of intervention and tell him how worried we are and that he needs to slow down/ stop, but we are worried how he will react.
He also has a gambling addiction - as a student, he ran up £20,000 of debt on what he now calls Black Monday. He seems to have got a handle on this, still bets a bit, but not at the same scale as before. Me and another friend act as a bit of helpline for him. As soon as he starts gambling, he knows he can pick up the phone and call us, any time day or night. It still scares the shit out of me though. He worked so hard for fucking years to pay off his debts, eating fucking homemade chilli & rice every day for months on end as it was the cheapest thing he could make. One bad night and he could be back to square one.
A few weeks ago, he was on the phone to another mate (Pete) and he passed out mid conversation. The next day this led to a big argument, as Pete had a go at him, cos he didn't know what the fuck had happened one minute he just stopped speaking (slurring). This was a bit of a lightbulb moment apparently and he has told us that he hasn't drunk spirits for a few weeks now. I see this as a really positive step and just hope we can wean him off, at least the harder stuff.
Sorry for hijacking the thread, and best of luck to Bluey, I suppose the thing i wanted to say is, I would do anything for my mate to try and help him, and i am sure your family and mates will do the same for you. Just reach out to them when you need to. If you feel like having a drink call one of them, tell them, ask them to have a natter with you to take your mind off it, ask to go for a coffee, go for a run, have group wank, whatever it is that you enjoy doing together. Take on day at a time, don't beat yourself up for slipping up, but make sure you always get back on that horse of being sober, cos that will get you where you wanna be.
