Although people close to me frequently dispute it, I think I’m an low-level, highly-functioning alcoholic.
I think the ‘problem’ I have with alcohol is that in the main the positives of my relationship with the stuff far outweigh the negatives. Some of the best times of my life have been whilst hammered, partly because I possess little or no capacity for embarrassment, and also because my working life has put me in close contact with the stuff in amazing, interesting settings. I hardly ever suffer from drinker’s remorse and it generally makes me a happier, nicer person - I don’t need a drink to have a good time, though - far from it; I guess, like many relationships, mine with alcohol is a complicated one. Add all that to the fact that it never stops me doing stuff, or performing at work, or impacts negatively on my relationships, or rules my behaviour especially negatively - and I guess you have an addiction that I’m willing to live with.
I can go for fairly significant period without a drink, and whilst I don’t hugely crave the stuff, I can slip back into heavy drinking with consummate ease without a shred of regret. I hardly ever wake up wishing I hadn‘t done what I did the night before.
i accept it will probably foreshorten my life, just don’t want it to render me incapacitated In some way, or to get something like throat cancer, but I’m equally aware I won’t have much choice in the matter.
It doesn’t rule my life, but I’m not going to lie, I love the stuff - but I know one way or another, the music will have to stop eventually.
Lost three people prematurely in the last three years, none to alcohol, and I guess if anything that’s made me more, not less blasé about the risks involved.
Fully realise everyone’s relationship with alcohol is different though and mine could change quickly, one way or the other.
Good luck to anyone struggling with their drinking. If it’s not making your life better than it otherwise would be, then I hope you can successfully stop.
