I have been to my mate's son's football club's annual sportsman's dinner for the past few years and have seen the following:
Neil Ruddock (in the Citizens' Suite) - big fat gobshite, but very funny. His rant about of thick footballers, including Beckham, was very entertaining. Came and sat at our table for a while at the end and was a good laugh.
Brian Robson - a bit dull. It was a staged interview, which seems a bit of a cop-out. Obviously he will have a lot to say about the rags, but sucked up to them far too much.
Matt Le Tissier - quite funny. Nothing particularly memorable, but came across quite well and kept the audience's attention throughout.
I saw Paul Merson at an event a contractor invited me to. He was a massive bell-end. His speech is basically "I had everything, spunked it up the wall on booze, drugs and gambling and now do this shit to keep my head above water - aren't I clever!"
I saw Nigel Benn at the Palace a few years back. It was a staged interview and the compère was an annoying cockney twat who liked the sound of his own voice too much. Benn opened up about some very sensitive personal feelings and come across as a very genuine bloke.
The best one I have seen is Steve Kindon. He began with the microphone, which he made a big point of discarding. He was in a huge room, but his voice carried all the way to the back. He talks a lot about his experience playing against Tommy Smith. He is also quite self-deprecating, making a joke about his speech impediment quite a lot.
