Alzheimer’s

[Thaksinssoldier]

Sorry to hear Ric. Not easy.

 

[Paladin]

A few of us cared for my father-in-law until he died around five years ago. He had Alzheimer's for about ten years, the last four were spent in care homes.

Some experts have said this disease is like a bookshelf, where the books are memories, all collapsing, from the top shelf to the bottom. The most recent memories are at the top, and the earlier memories near the bottom. In this way, the sufferer forgets the most recent things, then starts to forget names of familiar people, relatives etc. They then forget how to do simple tasks, and it becomes increasingly frustrating for them. They still recall distant memories though.

I agree with those recommending music from his youth. My father-in-law was a missionary, so we used to play hymns to him and read familiar passages from the Bible. These were always a great comfort to him, right until his last days.

I remember on one occasion he asked for Frank Speers. I asked his wife who this was, and it was a friend he knew when he was in secondary school in Ardwick / Beswick. We talked about him in subsequent visits. He couldn't remember the names of his children at this point.

When he went into care, the other residents would talk about their situations. It was obvious they still remembered their childhood, so we would chat about it and they would be comforted, even if what I said was nonsense. One guy was a former professional footballer for Falkirk. I would pretend to know something about Falkirk, but he also like to talk about Oban, where he once lived, and I am familiar with.

It's a cruel disease, and I'm sorry for him and your family. Surround him with love, and things from his childhood.

 

[sir baconface]

Could he possibly do easy crosswords @Ric ? Or build something with Lego?

 

[JASR]

Ric the most important thing here is to look after yourself as well, because this awful disease can consume you. Im sorry to hear about that. Take care of yourself as this will take a toll

I echo this, wholeheartedly.

You+ your mum need to ensure you don’t find it takes over your life - you are both entitled to live on.

 

[Blumers Bloomers]

Thanks mate, appreciate it. To be honest, that’s one of the things I’m finding hardest. He’s my Dad who I obviously love unconditionally, but conversations are extremely hard because literally any question I ask him flummoxes him and becomes a bit awkward, even if it’s about something that happened earlier today. Does make me worry about how my Mum copes, as she has to deal with it alone almost 24/7, which must be taking its toll on her.

Sorry to hear this Ric. We’re going through EXACTLY the same with my father in law at the minute, in fact the above could have been written by my other half. He was diagnosed with vascular dementia 4 months ago now. He’s already talking absolute nonsense, and simple things like tying shoelaces and fastening seatbelts are now traumatic.

I’ve spent this afternoon round there filling in forms to activate Power of Attorney ....which was difficult for him, admitting he’s no longer got the mental capacity to look after finances when he was an accountant in his working life.

Already having discussions about his parents potentially living with us ....they certainly can’t carry on as they are and we don’t want his mum living out her last years as a 24-7 carer.

One thing they have started doing is going to an OAP social club once a week. They just do daft things like play bingo, watch films, trips to garden centres etc .....but they seem to look forward to it , especially his mum who just welcomes the break

Best of luck with it, I know first hand it’s not easy

 

[Saddleworth2]

That’s tough for your Dad Ric.My Mum has had vascular dementia for the last ten years. As others have said on this thread, it starts with short term memory losses and then deteriorates from there. My understanding is that vascular dementia has periods of ‘plateau’ and then degeneration whilst altzimers is a gradual degeneration. There is no reason I can see that the disease will be what ends her life. She is 87 now and I can see her carrying on for a good while as she is healthy other than the dementia.
My mum has been in care for around 4 years. She still recognises us but forgets names. What I find works best for mum is to talk about the past, sing songs and show photos. She enjoys things that she remembers and now she can only remember stuff from her childhood, 20s and 30s. If you can make your Dad a memory book then I’m sure he would enjoy that. As my my mum still says, what I can’t remember, I can’t worry about.

 

[Ric]

Thanks for all the kind messages and advice, it’s greatly appreciated.

 

[inchy14]

My Dad is in the mid to later stages of this shitty disease. Am looking after him for a few hours each week at the moment to give my mum a bit of respite. Am struggling for ideas to entertain/occupy him though, and was just wondering if anyone in a similar position had any suggestions. Currently just sitting with him and watching old City games, which he seems to sort of enjoy (although not really sure he knows what is going on in the games) but feel like I could/should be doing a bit more to stimulate him. Any suggestions appreciated.

I was going to suggest actually doing something together, not just watching an old game on TV, is he able to play board games or cards? Just something that may stimulate him at all?
I have no insight into this dreadful disease but would like to think that something like that may be better.

Apologies if this doesn't come across well, just think sitting watching TV isn't the most beneficial thing to do.

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

I know just how you feel mate, I go to see my mum every night in the home and she does not know who I am and just talks rubbish all the time and it's heart breaking mate.

 

[TINY]

Apologies for the language, but another **** of a disease. Thankfully I’ve had very limited experience so I can’t offer any real advice Ric, but what I can say and can say with assurance is that one of the most important things here is make sure you look after yourself and your mum gets regular respite too. This shitty thing consumes everyone around it.

Look after you and yours mate, all the strength in the world to your old man, and huge hugs for your old dear.