Alzheimer’s

A word of advice to all Blues not yet threatened by this awful disease.


Get your power of attorney sorted now.

Before mum in law deteriorated beyond capacity but was still badly affected my wife and her sister tried to set up power of attorney. Mum in law refused, claiming she’d read about it in the Daily Mail and they were only trying to steal her money.
She then deteriorated beyond mental capacity so they couldn’t get power of attorney anyway.
When mum went into a care home the daughters were screwed. They could not make decisions on mum’s behalf or help sort out her finances. “Luckily” she died before her savings ran out for her care because we don’t know how we’d have coped not being able to use her property to fund her care if it had been needed.

As a result of our experiences we have set up power of attorney, both types, with our kids having power of attorney to kick in when and if it’s needed.


Remember, you can only grant power of attorney whilst you have mental capacity. Once it’s gone, it can’t be set up and the only alternative is called deputyship and cost £2500 a year, takes over a year to set up and has to go through the courts.
 
A word of advice to all Blues not yet threatened by this awful disease.


Get your power of attorney sorted now.

Before mum in law deteriorated beyond capacity but was still badly affected my wife and her sister tried to set up power of attorney. Mum in law refused, claiming she’d read about it in the Daily Mail and they were only trying to steal her money.
She then deteriorated beyond mental capacity so they couldn’t get power of attorney anyway.
When mum went into a care home the daughters were screwed. They could not make decisions on mum’s behalf or help sort out her finances. “Luckily” she died before her savings ran out for her care because we don’t know how we’d have coped not being able to use her property to fund her care if it had been needed.

As a result of our experiences we have set up power of attorney, both types, with our kids having power of attorney to kick in when and if it’s needed.


Remember, you can only grant power of attorney whilst you have mental capacity. Once it’s gone, it can’t be set up and the only alternative is called deputyship and cost £2500 a year, takes over a year to set up and has to go through the courts.
Yes, this is good advice.
 
Yes, this is good advice.
A word of advice to all Blues not yet threatened by this awful disease.


Get your power of attorney sorted now.

Before mum in law deteriorated beyond capacity but was still badly affected my wife and her sister tried to set up power of attorney. Mum in law refused, claiming she’d read about it in the Daily Mail and they were only trying to steal her money.
She then deteriorated beyond mental capacity so they couldn’t get power of attorney anyway.
When mum went into a care home the daughters were screwed. They could not make decisions on mum’s behalf or help sort out her finances. “Luckily” she died before her savings ran out for her care because we don’t know how we’d have coped not being able to use her property to fund her care if it had been needed.

As a result of our experiences we have set up power of attorney, both types, with our kids having power of attorney to kick in when and if it’s needed.


Remember, you can only grant power of attorney whilst you have mental capacity. Once it’s gone, it can’t be set up and the only alternative is called deputyship and cost £2500 a year, takes over a year to set up and has to go through the courts.
I can only agree with everything said. My mum granted a power of attorney to my sister 10 years ago when she started getting frail. She now has full blown vascular dementia and we could not have managed without it. Choosing a home, managing her finances, everything.
 
How’s your dad doing @Ric ? Any pearls of wisdom that you can share with others on here going through the same?

My father in law has declined dramatically ...the only positive of this is that he’s been reassessed and now qualifies for more support/help. My husband now stays over once a week and we have a rota to ensure someone is with them every day even if it’s just for a couple of hours for his mums sake....which is tough when we all work/have families of our own
My mum has vascular dementia which has been progressively worse the last ten years. She used to live in her own little flat and had care coming in three times a day to look after her. As the disease progressed this became insufficient as she had a couple of bad falls during the night, both of which hospitalised her. My sister and I spent 9 months visiting care homes and then fighting with the local council around the one we wanted for her. My main advice would be dont leave it too long to get residential care for your father in law. One fall can be so serious. Not all care homes are the same. We visited about 9 in all and were only happy with two of them (both council rather than privately run). We came under intense pressure to go with a private home and resisted. We finally got what we wanted by involving our MP.

Mum is so much better looked after and happier since she became a resident there. She knows that she knows us but has forgotten our names and relationship to her, but she is happy. She tells us that constantly :-). It’s a cruel cruel disease but sometimes harder on the family than the sufferer.
 
It really is a mother fucker of a disease. Power of Attorney all done. They’ve recently sold their house as well and will be hopefully moving a bit closer to us/sister in law as well
 
He's doing OK, thanks for asking. Obviously his condition is deteriorating as it's a degenerative illness, but he seems relatively content in his own little world. He is still coming to City matches, although I'm not sure he really understands what is going on. It's really starting to take it's toll on my Mum though. It's incredibly difficult for the partner who is with them all the time.

Sorry to hear about your father-in-law, it's an awful illness. I don't really have any pearls of wisdom to pass on, other than to take any support/help that you qualify for just to help relieve the burden on your mother-in-law. As the poster above said, try doing things that are familiar to him, be it listening to old music, or watching old TV programs/films he used to enjoy.

He is still coming to City matches, although I'm not sure he really understands what is going on,

VAR is fking everyone one up.mate.

On a serious note both parents died with this besides heart breaking,it takes it out of you mentally,
But my look on it they looked after me growing up then it's was my turn to look after them
Best off luck for the future mate..
 
I have no magic wand for Ric. Try things dad used to like. Try something different.

My mother likes white chocolate kit kats. I bought them by mistake. Sometimes being there is enough. If someone else can help do something for mother, help with shopping, going out for something to eat.

My mother has advanced Parkinsons, vascular and idiopathic, has fluctuating capacity, extremely poor mobility, experienced delirium on several occasions

Denis's advice ref POA is the best advice for anyone in circumstances about having older relatives or getting old themselves. I tried to do it for my mother about 4 years ago and she refused. Fortunately a short while later she agreed to do it. Without it there is very little you can do legally. I have 2 sisters who both live far away, 1 is supportive, the other is communicating with me not at all or via a solicitor. My POA has been invaluable.

What denis has described as deputyship, i recall as being called Court of Protection. Anyway regardless of the correct name it is expensive and not easy
A word of advice to all Blues not yet threatened by this awful disease.


Get your power of attorney sorted now.

Before mum in law deteriorated beyond capacity but was still badly affected my wife and her sister tried to set up power of attorney. Mum in law refused, claiming she’d read about it in the Daily Mail and they were only trying to steal her money.
She then deteriorated beyond mental capacity so they couldn’t get power of attorney anyway.
When mum went into a care home the daughters were screwed. They could not make decisions on mum’s behalf or help sort out her finances. “Luckily” she died before her savings ran out for her care because we don’t know how we’d have coped not being able to use her property to fund her care if it had been needed.

As a result of our experiences we have set up power of attorney, both types, with our kids having power of attorney to kick in when and if it’s needed.


Remember, you can only grant power of attorney whilst you have mental capacity. Once it’s gone, it can’t be set up and the only alternative is called deputyship and cost £2500 a year, takes over a year to set up and has to go through the courts.
 
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I have no magic wand for Ric. Try things dad used to like. Try something different.

My mother likes white chocolate kit kats. I bought them by mistake. Sometimes being there is enough. If someone else can help do something for mother, help with shopping, going out for something to eat.

My mother has advanced Parkinsons, vascular and idiopathic, has fluctuating capacity, extremely poor mobility, experienced delirium on several occasions

Denis's advice ref POA is the best advice for anyone in circumstances about having older relatives or getting old themselves. I tried to do it for my mother about 4 years ago and she refused. Fortunately a short while later she agreed to do it. Without it there is very little you can do legally. I have 2 sisters who both live far away, 1 is supportive, the other is communicating with me not at all or via a solicitor. My POA has been invaluable.

What denis has described as deputyship, i recall as being called Court of Protection. Anyway regardless of the correct name it is expensive and not easy


You apply to the court of protection to become a deputy.
Here’s the procedure.
It’s a nightmare to set up!
https://www.gov.uk/become-deputy

much easier is power of attorney

https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney
 
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A word of advice to all Blues not yet threatened by this awful disease.


Get your power of attorney sorted now.

Before mum in law deteriorated beyond capacity but was still badly affected my wife and her sister tried to set up power of attorney. Mum in law refused, claiming she’d read about it in the Daily Mail and they were only trying to steal her money.
She then deteriorated beyond mental capacity so they couldn’t get power of attorney anyway.
When mum went into a care home the daughters were screwed. They could not make decisions on mum’s behalf or help sort out her finances. “Luckily” she died before her savings ran out for her care because we don’t know how we’d have coped not being able to use her property to fund her care if it had been needed.

As a result of our experiences we have set up power of attorney, both types, with our kids having power of attorney to kick in when and if it’s needed.


Remember, you can only grant power of attorney whilst you have mental capacity. Once it’s gone, it can’t be set up and the only alternative is called deputyship and cost £2500 a year, takes over a year to set up and has to go through the courts.

I second it....makes tricky situations very easy.
 

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