My friend is training for a sponsored charity walk in a couple of weeks time for the Steve Prescott foundation. He also happens to write bizarre and often funny emails to famous folk. I thought I'd share this one:
Dear Sir Ian,
I am writing to you to see if you can assist me. As far back as I can remember you have been a constant inspiration to me, both as a sportsman (you were my favourite cricketer) and as a man (I have been known to eat Shredded Wheat now and then). However I am writing to you on this occasion because you are one of our country's most distinguished wa*kers.
I have decided to dedicate much of my time and resources to raising money for the Steve Prescott Foundation in September and am doing so by attempting a charity wa*k. Though I try and wa*k whenever I have the choice I have never tried wa*king to this extent before. As you are much more experienced at wa*king than I am you must be aware of how much effort and preparation need to go into a wa*k that is going to take eight days to finish. Therefore any hints or tips you can give are bound to be of great assistance to me.
I have started my preparations. I took things steady to begin with and had a few nice wa*ks with the vicar. Now, though, my wa*ks take me hours. At times I am wa*king so fast I swear that passers-by think my shoes are going to drop off! My friends are now so used to me refusing to go out with them because I am 'too busy wa*king' that they don't even ask me to come out any more. I have undertaken a dramatic reduction in my consumption of beer as I have heard this can have an adverse effect on stamina during a big wa*k.
The pain is something I have yet to get to grips with, though. Various parts of me are starting to show signs of vesication. The other day, for instance, it was tough for me to get to the Gents' in work and some of the women found it amusing the way I was wa*king around the office. I thank you in advance if you can recommend any products that may soothe the pain caused by extreme wa*king.
I am due to begin wa*king in Swansea on Sunday 25th September and finish in Merseyside on Sunday October 2nd. I hope the weather can stay fine but am concerned about what to wear when wa*king in rainy or windy conditions. It may be that there are ways to stop chaffing around my nether regions, too! If you have any 'tricks of the trade' then do share them.
Any support you can offer is much appreciated. In fact, if you don't have anything in your diary around that time and fancy wa*king with me at any stage then get in touch.
Oh, and sorry to use so many asterisks but as you've no doubt gathered by now the 12th *etter of the a*phabet isn't working on my computer and I had to rep*ace it with something.
Kind regards,
Scar*et Gooseberry
I'm not gonna force anyone to make donations but if anyone is interested in sponsoring him here is the link, <a class="postlink" href="http://www.justgiving.com/scarletgooseberry" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.justgiving.com/scarletgooseberry</a>
Just thought I'd share the humour. :)
Dear Sir Ian,
I am writing to you to see if you can assist me. As far back as I can remember you have been a constant inspiration to me, both as a sportsman (you were my favourite cricketer) and as a man (I have been known to eat Shredded Wheat now and then). However I am writing to you on this occasion because you are one of our country's most distinguished wa*kers.
I have decided to dedicate much of my time and resources to raising money for the Steve Prescott Foundation in September and am doing so by attempting a charity wa*k. Though I try and wa*k whenever I have the choice I have never tried wa*king to this extent before. As you are much more experienced at wa*king than I am you must be aware of how much effort and preparation need to go into a wa*k that is going to take eight days to finish. Therefore any hints or tips you can give are bound to be of great assistance to me.
I have started my preparations. I took things steady to begin with and had a few nice wa*ks with the vicar. Now, though, my wa*ks take me hours. At times I am wa*king so fast I swear that passers-by think my shoes are going to drop off! My friends are now so used to me refusing to go out with them because I am 'too busy wa*king' that they don't even ask me to come out any more. I have undertaken a dramatic reduction in my consumption of beer as I have heard this can have an adverse effect on stamina during a big wa*k.
The pain is something I have yet to get to grips with, though. Various parts of me are starting to show signs of vesication. The other day, for instance, it was tough for me to get to the Gents' in work and some of the women found it amusing the way I was wa*king around the office. I thank you in advance if you can recommend any products that may soothe the pain caused by extreme wa*king.
I am due to begin wa*king in Swansea on Sunday 25th September and finish in Merseyside on Sunday October 2nd. I hope the weather can stay fine but am concerned about what to wear when wa*king in rainy or windy conditions. It may be that there are ways to stop chaffing around my nether regions, too! If you have any 'tricks of the trade' then do share them.
Any support you can offer is much appreciated. In fact, if you don't have anything in your diary around that time and fancy wa*king with me at any stage then get in touch.
Oh, and sorry to use so many asterisks but as you've no doubt gathered by now the 12th *etter of the a*phabet isn't working on my computer and I had to rep*ace it with something.
Kind regards,
Scar*et Gooseberry
I'm not gonna force anyone to make donations but if anyone is interested in sponsoring him here is the link, <a class="postlink" href="http://www.justgiving.com/scarletgooseberry" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.justgiving.com/scarletgooseberry</a>
Just thought I'd share the humour. :)