No Daz, i thank my lucky stars every day my family is mainly healthy. We have a large family and the odds of no premature deaths or serious illness in any of us is something i am really grateful for.
I am so sorry you had to experience that mate, i can't possibly begin to know how you feel from it. I do know fucked up though bud, just not on that scale.
My main and probably only true regret in life is fucking off on my own for so long and missing 15 years or so of her life. Thankfully the old bird is still going strong. Now i aim to be around her as much as i can before the fussing over me becomes to much and i need to go and be my slobbish self again.
The fear of loss i admit freely terrifies me beyond what i could ever articulate. If i could somehow get a set age i was going to die, i would half it and if possible give one half to my dog. I will be totally lost when he leaves me, he is my constant companion and best mate. I work from home and order .com shopping so he really is with me 24/7. If he does that thing where they stop breathing whilst snoring for a few seconds i can be fast asleep but something wakes me and i nudge him and watch him like a hawk until he nods back off.
I have no idea how i will cope with the loss of a family member. In some way maybe a fear getting to close to them again due to the pain i know i will feel?. Life is harsh!
