Oh my word, fucking gold! I've not enjoyed a great piece of satire in a long time, and never in the football world. That was something else hahaha.
"This time he only lasted 3 minutes. A record? Intent on more mayhem, Christian ran straight into problems - more accurately, Marcus Bent. Straight red. Unbelievable."
"And Christian was, literally, sent to Coventry - with largely disappointing results"
"I scrolled down. And there he was. Filed simply under 'Midfielder, Christian Negouai.' Alone. In a class of his own. To the last, utterly unique."
"And, having failed to make provision for a pitch-side puddle, he crumpled to the ground - in stages."
"modestly, he accepted that Zidane had got a stranglehold on his coveted French No. 10 shirt."
"Stricken by indecision, little came off for our hero as he failed to adjust to Maine Road's wide open spaces."
What fantastic writing haha a great read.