I agree with you about generalising, I have met plenty of muslims non of whom gave me the impression they have any sympathy with the jihadists and non that are/were Jihadists or terrorists as far as I know. They all seemed perfectly nice people. Actualy on the Jihadist one I have attended a talk by a reformed one that was both fascinating and frightening. He pulled no punches on how important sealing our borders was incidentally.
You are right focusing on terms used doesnt help solve the problems let alone the discussion, my point exactly.
Are you aware of Taqiya ?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taqiya