Cheapskates

[Tuearts right boot]

Me and Ken The Landlord know this years favourite and last years winner of the Cheapest cheapskate awards.......

Takes my Mrs out for breakfast etc with a 2 for 1 voucher.
Pulls lit cigarettes out of the packet whilst he turns away. I've never seen him hand them out nor light one in public. It's brilliant to watch.
Went on holiday to the Lakes and bought some groceries, he not only split half the price with us but then asked his Mrs for the other half meaning he paid an exact quarter. £3.17.
Same holiday, in a restaurant, asked for the bill then split it 4 ways and asks her for her quarter, embarrased at this I paid the fucking lot and walked out.........
Brings beer to your house/party then takes the unopened ones home.
Came round to our house for a coffee claiming he'd found a new type of biscuit. He bought 3 biscuits in from his car, 1 each.

 

[MCFCTrick]

One tight fucker I know, rather than splash out on a proper wood stain for the rabbit hutch, he used some creosote he had left over.

Cheeky fucker also took the soon dead poor rabbit back to the shop for a refund .....

 

[Deepest Blue]

One I know seems only ever gets a round in Joey's or Spoons pubs.
Keeps hand in his pocket til this happens then gallops to be first to the bar in the cheap pub.
Also in restaurants he'll take everyone's cash including tips then pay the bill to the penny on plastic. We're on to him now over that trick.

Tight assed sod.

 

[Uncle Wally One Ball]

Me and Ken The Landlord know this years favourite and last years winner of the Cheapest cheapskate awards.......

Takes my Mrs out for breakfast etc with a 2 for 1 voucher.
Pulls lit cigarettes out of the packet whilst he turns away. I've never seen him hand them out nor light one in public. It's brilliant to watch.
Went on holiday to the Lakes and bought some groceries, he not only split half the price with us but then asked his Mrs for the other half meaning he paid an exact quarter. £3.17.
Same holiday, in a restaurant, asked for the bill then split it 4 ways and asks her for her quarter, embarrased at this I paid the fucking lot and walked out.........
Brings beer to your house/party then takes the unopened ones home.
Came round to our house for a coffee claiming he'd found a new type of biscuit. He bought 3 biscuits in from his car, 1 each.

I cringed reading that

 

[Two Gun Bob]

There is a difference between carefulness and emulating a ducks arse and a terrible affliction it is.
I have seen them in the Dorm pricing up the full English and walking miles to get it for a euro less but with a sausauge more.

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

I'm not a tight fucker myself but I used to have to be very careful with money when my ex missus fleeced me for everything she could with her family solicitor on splitting up. She then set the CSA on me who almost bled me so dry I considered packing work in as I wasn't making ends meet so didn't see the point.

My mates would ask if I was coming to the pub for a night out, and not wanting to appear a miserable **** I reluctantly joined them. One time I managed to have a spare fiver to buy a couple of beers, make my excuses and fuck off home

Without wanting to join in a round I'd say "listen lads, I'll get my own, Im just a bit skint at the moment". My mates are very observant quick witted fuckers and I knew they rip me to bits( albeit in friendly banter) but one particular mate(mate of a mate really) was nasty and would of ripped me big time, and meant it.

My closest 6-7 mates I've known Since teenage, salt of the earth lads you'd want in the trenches in a battle. They insisted they bought me beers which I felt uneasy about as I was potless at the time.

They'd rip me with things like " have you got that fiver on bungee elastic attached to your wallet!" and when it's your turn at the bar you always seem to be tying your shoelaces!"

Over the years as I've had cash to spend I've always got the rounds in and treated each mate to curries and quite a few extra rounds on a night out.

There's a difference between being careful cos of being skint and being a tight fucker who can but won't spend money. They're the worst types IMO. Genuine tight arses are not my kind of people.

 

[Crouchinho]

Amazes me that here and in the UK when people caught wind of 5p a litre cheaper fuel they'd all drive to the petrol station, yet would spend more at supermarket on name brands, or lived off eating takeaway. Bastards probably didn't even know how much they were saving anyway

 

[idahoblues]

Try having a beer with blue mist...take lots of money

 

[KenTheLandlord]

I cringed reading that

The right boot is correct.

His face lights up when a bill comes and they have forgot to add something.
He nearly spuzzed there and then when he was on holiday in Spain they had forgot to add in 2 rounds.
His hand flew into his pocket for his share and he was out of there before the staff and us realised, he had never shifted so fast. I only suspected as he had moved and paid so quick.

 

[Uncle Wally One Ball]

The right boot is correct.

His face lights up when a bill comes and they have forgot to add something.
He nearly spuzzed there and then when he was on holiday in Spain they had forgot to add in 2 rounds.
His hand flew into his pocket for his share and he was out of there before the staff and us realised, he had never shifted so fast. I only suspected as he had moved and paid so quick.

Who is this miserable welded tight man, bloke from the pub who comes on organised holibobs? We have one of those, he wont get in a round or partake in a split the bill situation, he likes to be on his own and he sneakily settles up on his way for a piss. But he has beer on our bill too and thinks we dont know