Child with suspected autism

shevtheblue

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My 3yr old has been exhibiting markers which are possibly Autism, she has been diagnosed with Speech & Communication delays and struggles a bit socially. Although they say she is too young to have the Autism test yet, she is definitely behind in her development, compared to other children of similar or even younger. She started nursery at the end of last term and loves going there, we immediately saw improvements in her speech and social interactions but she is still a way off. She is so far ahead of other children in some things such as knowing the alphabet completely, numbers all the way to 30 and backwards, but these are obviously not the development traits that professionals are looking for.

Obviously i have the same fears as any other parents have for her future, but i'm assured that the spectrum is quite large and the kids eventually find (from help and just being older/around other kids) ways to deal with what they lack.

Has anyone else been through something similar and have any pointers? Similarly if anyone has a child in a similar position and wants to share.
 
A relative of mine has a son with Aspergers, or something similar. They suspected issues because he wouldn't sleep through the night, was constantly restless and full of energy and wasn't learning to read at the age of 5 at the same rate as the other kids. If your daughter has a learning issue (and a lot of kids struggle early on), then try to get a good relationship with her school and ensure she is catching up to the others in the class, otherwise it can cause other problems. My relative's lad was given 30 minutes extra tuition a week at his initial (standard) school but it was clearly not enough and when he was seen as different by the other children, that's when the problems really began. They don't mean to but at 6yo they don't know any better, plus he knew himself he was struggling. His mother had to fight to get even a diagnosis (in which he was deemed quite severe) and funding for a suitable school. A few years later he has represented his school in a national athletics tournament (winning his event) and learned to play a song on the piano in one day.

Trust your instinct and don't be afraid to speak up to the medical profession, teachers and social care staff if you have any concerns, but the fact she can do her alphabet and is good with numbers is a good sign.
 
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My 3yr old has been exhibiting markers which are possibly Autism, she has been diagnosed with Speech & Communication delays and struggles a bit socially. Although they say she is too young to have the Autism test yet, she is definitely behind in her development, compared to other children of similar or even younger. She started nursery at the end of last term and loves going there, we immediately saw improvements in her speech and social interactions but she is still a way off. She is so far ahead of other children in some things such as knowing the alphabet completely, numbers all the way to 30 and backwards, but these are obviously not the development traits that professionals are looking for.

Obviously i have the same fears as any other parents have for her future, but i'm assured that the spectrum is quite large and the kids eventually find (from help and just being older/around other kids) ways to deal with what they lack.

Has anyone else been through something similar and have any pointers? Similarly if anyone has a child in a similar position and wants to share.

The best advice I can give you is that you and your wife know and understand your child best so stand up for yourselves and don’t be put off by the professionals. Early intervention is the absolute number one thing to try to improve the lives of children that are suspected to be on the spectrum. Our son was on a rapid decline around 15 months, lost his speech, his response, his socialization everything just went in a few weeks. It was obvious to us but doctors and therapists just told us he was a child they’re all different and they all develop at different ages etc. Come back when he’s four. If we’d done that I hate to think where he’d be now, he was regressing so fast right in front of our eyes. We were extremely lucky though because he had an injury from birth that was being assessed by a doctor at a hospital and at his 18 month check up she noticed how much he changed and referred him to a child psychologist. Everything moved on fast from there and he’s had so much therapy and come on in leaps and bounds. He’s been going to a public school here in Spain from the age of 3 and he fits in really well and receives 10 hours of therapy a week and ten hours with a monitor in the class. He’s nearly 6 now and very much on the spectrum but he’s marvelous, sleeps, eats, plays, talks (but a bit strangely) etc etc.

Knock on every door you can at the school, doctors, hospitals etc. If you have to do all you can to get private therapy because waiting is so dangerous. It’s complete bullshit that they think children can’t be diagnosed until they’re 5/6 and it can seriously hinder progress.

Good luck.
 
I have an autistic son, now in his 30s. He had a fairly tough time at school and found it difficult to maintain friendships. Eventually, we decided that we had to teach him how to respond to certain situations because, for instance, he is unable to understand that his Mum wants a birthday card even if he is going to see her that day. To him this makes no sense at all. It has helped a bit and he holds down a steady job, went to uni etc. Things aren’t perfect but he is getting by quite well.

I was a school teacher and have had a lot of training on how to spot and deal with autism. It manifests differently in females where it is often missed because girl’s are usually more socially adept than boys and can cover it up more easily. I did attend a lecture by a Cambridge professor and psychiatrist who specialises in autism. His take on it is that there is a spectrum and we are all on the scale somewhere. He gave an example of locking your car door. The catch engages noisily, the lights flash and people try the handle anyway just to make sure. This is apparently a sure sign of OCD. A lot of nervous laughter at that one.

The experts are correct that 3 years old is too early to reliably test. A diagnosis of autism does tend to have an impact on interpersonal relationships but won’t necessarily hold a child back, particularly girls. One of the smartest kids I ever taught had Aspergers to a high degree. He was actually fun to teach and amazingly creative but if there was a change to the school timetable, we would ring his mother in the morning so that she could explain in detail what the change was and why. He couldn’t handle last minute changes so the school adapted.

Autistic children are not uncommon and most schools are pretty good at dealing with it. Work with the teachers and please understand that helping your child is what they signed up for. Be realistic though that they have 29 other kids to deal with, some of them with challenging behaviours of their own.

Finally, don’t get sucked into assuming autism. There are other reasons for abnormal behaviour and nobody knows your child better than you. Diagnosis is difficult even for experienced medical and teaching staff. You might need sharp elbows, particularly with budgets under strain.

Good luck.
 
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Things are so much better now and I’m relieved they spot it early. My Aspergers was diagnosed at 30 and it had followed internal agony in myself at what the hell the problem was. I’d suffered such difficulty within social circles that I just isolated myself and did things alone. It was easier. As an invisible disability, it’s cruel to have because people with no experience of Autism and Aspergers think you’re odd, rude etc. You’re not. You’re just different.
 
Thanks for all the replies.
We had the portage visitor over today who has been helping with her, she visits the nursery and keeps up to date with her and the various specialists that are involved. She said that she's pretty certain our daughter has autism but she's not as high on the spectrum as some. She does things like she will cup her ears for no reason, no loud noises or even because she's sad, she'll even do it when she's happy. She is unable to understand everything we say (she's improved a lot with that since starting nursery) and gets frustrated as she can't communicate what she wants or how she feels. The portage lady said she will help us apply for things like a disability badge as our daughter will just run off when you take her out of the car as she doesn't have an understanding of danger completely, she also said we will get some kind of allowance to help us with her. Its just hard to explain to people when it's not a physical disability and it's hard to understand yourself when you have other kids who are fine, I just hope she learns to cope with it from all the professionals who are helping us and can have a normal life.

Going on holiday is a nightmare, I just can't imagine it ever being enjoyable. Even a trip to Trafford centre is impossible, we had managed to get it to a point where she would go into the crèche with her sister so we could have an hr to get things we needed. But this weekend the crèche (Trafford centre one) rang us to say they can't manage her as she doesn't listen, and would need us to notify them well in advance to see if they can fit her in future. Hopefully she gets better as she gets older.
 
The covering of her ears is likely sensory overload, ear defenders are good for that, if she'll keep them on. My little girl doesn't really suffer with that on noise, but if we are in echoey places she doesn't like that. But one of our friends uses them for their boy and they really help him.
It's a wide spectrum so no 2 kids are the same, but lots of similarities, meeting other parents in similar situation to yourself is good, are there any stay and play groups in your area for parents in your situation?
I know of a few in my area (northwich/Winsford) that have been a huge help to us.
If you want any info/help/advice, feel free to pm me or message me in this thread, from dla, carers allowance, safe space beds, dfg, cams, ehcp, there is help available but it's not always easy to get or know who or what to ask for. Unfortunately you have to really fight for everything, as if life isn't stressful enough with no sleep, work, life lol. Good luck, it's not easy but so rewarding.
 
The covering of her ears is likely sensory overload, ear defenders are good for that, if she'll keep them on. My little girl doesn't really suffer with that on noise, but if we are in echoey places she doesn't like that. But one of our friends uses them for their boy and they really help him.
It's a wide spectrum so no 2 kids are the same, but lots of similarities, meeting other parents in similar situation to yourself is good, are there any stay and play groups in your area for parents in your situation?
I know of a few in my area (northwich/Winsford) that have been a huge help to us.
If you want any info/help/advice, feel free to pm me or message me in this thread, from dla, carers allowance, safe space beds, dfg, cams, ehcp, there is help available but it's not always easy to get or know who or what to ask for. Unfortunately you have to really fight for everything, as if life isn't stressful enough with no sleep, work, life lol. Good luck, it's not easy but so rewarding.

According to the specialist, he thinks the ear cupping is because she likes the sensation of how it changes the sounds and how cupping your ears makes the sound vibrate. She knows nursery rhymes from start to finish as well as abc's, but she'll just talk jibberish even if it's to the tune of a nursery rhyme. They think it's because she hasn't figured out that you need communication to get what you want, but we see improvements in this area weekly which makes you so happy.

We're in the heatons area of Stockport, since we were not really sure if she had it we haven't really looked into any groups but I suppose we'll do that now. The ADOS assessment will be in a year, so I assume we'll get told about different places to go with her at that point.

Cheers mate, I'll probably take you up on that offer as I don't know what half those terms are! I know it's wrong but I worry more because she's a girl, whether she'll have a normal relationships when she grows up etc. But it's all new to us, hopefully we can give her the support she needs.
 
According to the specialist, he thinks the ear cupping is because she likes the sensation of how it changes the sounds and how cupping your ears makes the sound vibrate. She knows nursery rhymes from start to finish as well as abc's, but she'll just talk jibberish even if it's to the tune of a nursery rhyme. They think it's because she hasn't figured out that you need communication to get what you want, but we see improvements in this area weekly which makes you so happy.

We're in the heatons area of Stockport, since we were not really sure if she had it we haven't really looked into any groups but I suppose we'll do that now. The ADOS assessment will be in a year, so I assume we'll get told about different places to go with her at that point.

Cheers mate, I'll probably take you up on that offer as I don't know what half those terms are! I know it's wrong but I worry more because she's a girl, whether she'll have a normal relationships when she grows up etc. But it's all new to us, hopefully we can give her the support she needs.

Try not to worry about the future(impossible, I know) she sounds like she is high functioning, so that is good news, girls tend to cope with ASD better than boys. Speech and language sessions is vital for her, sooner the better if she isn't having them(keep pushing and fighting)
A lot of special needs schools have the stay and play sessions, might be worth ringing round.
My little girl is 6 in November, is non verbal, also has a learning disability. If you go on you tube, there is a comedian called Paul smith who has a non verbal son with autism, (he's a scouser but don't let it put you off) he tells a couple of stories and his son sounds just like my daughter, me and the mrs cried laughing watching it.
 

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