“Oh my sweet fucking Jesus! Would you check out the size of the bollocks on that streaker? Fair play to the lad, he beat the offside trap with nanchelont ease, he timed his run to perfection. Shows his plums to a crowd blanketed in inadequacy and fucks off into legend.”
And if anycunt thinks that won’t happen verbatim, you’re a bellend. 1/578 on. Maybe more, who knows?