Cocaine

I tried one line about 12 years ago. A friend offered me a line and I told him to keep it. He give me the old "how do you know if you haven't tried it line" 3 times(pardon the pun) and I just said Ok then. I sniffed a line and thought I'd sniffed Ajax bleach powder, coughing and spluttering, fuckin' awful stuff. Not tried any since and won't be having anymore anytime soon. I don't mind a smoke now and again, but that said I had one at Christmas and that was enough to convince me I won't be having another joint for a long long time. "Just say no" as Zamo once sang.
 
I have a brother in law who is seriously f*cked up on coke most of the time. A proper chav. He's in his 30's and has 3 kids all from different mother's, and lives with his eldest son. I remember him giving his kid coke once (I think he was about 14 at the time IIRC). No doubt he'd done it before and since. He's been reported to social services, but they are reluctant to act without solid evidence.

Thankfully I don't see him very often, but he's a complete nightmare. He beat up my wife's step father quite badly once, and he regularly bullies the mother in law. He's now banned from their house.
 
Trevor Morley's Tache said:
I have a brother in law who is seriously f*cked up on coke most of the time. A proper chav. He's in his 30's and has 3 kids all from different mother's, and lives with his eldest son. I remember him giving his kid coke once (I think he was about 14 at the time IIRC). No doubt he'd done it before and since. He's been reported to social services, but they are reluctant to act without solid evidence.

Thankfully I don't see him very often, but he's a complete nightmare. He beat up my wife's step father quite badly once, and he regularly bullies the mother in law. He's now banned from their house.
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I would slip some fentanyl into his 8 ball and kill the ****.
 
Two Gun Bob said:
It was circa 1980's and the nipple headed mushroom that grew abundantly in the shires of Rozzendorf were ripe for the picking.
Now I have never imbibed of recreational before and so the following tale is taken from a novices viewpoint.

Are you c c coming said the voice of a chap of small stature staring intently at me through my gaping portal.
A pleasant entity early twenties thick set and in his prime answering to the name of Henrick.
His speech impediment had limited his circle of friends yet he got on magnificently in my company having onlyto listen to incessant babble and waffle.
We made a good team and had known each other through adolescence and deep into manhood.
Are you coming m..m.. m
"Mabels I rudely interrupted"

Mabel was the magnificent corner shop were all was possible and everything was stocked.
As children we used to sit on her potato sacks drinking penny drinks of Ben Shaw's that she used to dispense into yogurt cups.
Listening intently to the village gossip from our elders as facefook had not arrived and waiting patiently for the opportunity for them to do one of so we could buy three No6 and four matches placed into a kaylie bag and twisted with the utmost of care."
And don't tell your mam she would witter with the most splendid of child friendly smiles"
This lady should have been canonized for her service to kinder-kind and so why did we repay her by taking the empty Ben Shaw bottles from the back of her shop and reintroducing them through the front door.It was 1p for a sterilized bottle and 10p for Ben Shaws.
Shame eternal shame but we were just errant scalawags eking out an existence with not a pot to piss in.

M m m m mushrooming came the reply from Hendrick and so off we marched over hill and vale.
Climbing ever higher over the mountain side were the mushrooms kissed that moorland pete.
Emulating the Vonn Trapps splendid march to freedom we danced that dance climbing ever higher.
The picking I was instructed by Henrick was to be undertaken with care and only the ones with nipples on top would suffice.

Back at base camp and with wicker baskets full of silibin we made the journey back to the brew room.
Boiled for an eternity and how they stunk but when mixed with OXO cube they took on a persona all of their own.
I heartily clacked down my mug saying groovy man gravy groovy man and then waited with apathy like some sausage pulled from an audience waiting to be pretend hypnotized.Hypnotized I was to be and like the bridge at Arnhem I had deffo clacked down a mushroom to far.

We waited and I waited and then the dance began.
The lamp in the corner of the room sprouted legs and walked nonchalantly passed me.
This really happened and then it walked back I guess to the safety of it's plug socket.
Alarmed harassed and distressed I got to my feet and walked into the kitchen where things were about to take on a new turn.
The kitchen had black and white square tiles you know the typo and when i walked towards the end of the room I became as small as the dog bowl.
And when I walked back I became as tall as the ceiling.This made me grin and I repeated the operation another 100 times to make sure what was happening was actually happening.
Making my way into the front room I tried to open the metal handle on the window frame but my fingers had turned to raspberry jelly.
Try as I may I could not open it to climb out and get a 99 ice cream from the van that had just flown past the window in a blazing riot of colour that would put shame to any 4 k TV.

Lots of other anomalies would occur but best to let sleeping dog bowls lie and anyway it was time to go out for a beer.
And that is when the laughing started.I laughed that day for over 5 hours and not a happy laugh but a laugh borne of errant stupidity and eyes bigger than my belly syndrome.

Well I nearly got slotted three times as I watched the big lad play the slot machine and lose all his wage.
He thought I was being Leary but I was laughing at the bells and pears and lights that flashed me like moth to a flame.
The laughter was intense belly laughter that could not be stopped.
And then many hours later it happened and I took my stomach for a shit and came back to earth without a parachute.
Painful chest from the laughter and an eerie feeling of silence like I was stranded in country in a mist covered river waiting for a viet con sniper to take me out of my misery.And that is what Silibin can do with the little help of a mushroom or three.

Funny thing is when we did the damme away trip for the footie we were ambushed in a pub by a canal
They were not viet-con but Ajax fans raining down hundreds of cans like some mad scene from Agincourt.
I have spent time in combat and knew we were about to be flanked and so me and the Mrs shot down this alleyway into a coffee shop that didn't sell coffee.

It was where people who like drugs go and they had a menu to choose from.
On that menu was magic mushrooms and so we gasped and grabbed our kit yomping a further two clicks to safety and some as-semblance of normality.
I never did take anything again except Bishops fingers and Hobgoblin and stuff.

(If law enforcement is looking in then obviously the above never happened and was just my imagination running away with me)
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Apparently, 160 of those "nipple headed" liberty cap mushrooms, when added to a pint of water, boiled for 5 minutes, steeped for 48 hours, mixed with a large glug of Vimto, passed through a sieve the sipped gently over 30 minutes has a really earthy flavour and produces the most amazing psychedelic high.

So I'm told.
 
blueian99 said:
Tim Martin is a man of the people from the people for the people from the people.. Hallowed be his name ..

Mate of mine worked with Tim Martin until quite recently, and he says the guy's a ****.
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I can't remember where I saw it, but somebody recently said "Tim Martin looks like someone hoovered up Norfolk and emptied out the bag into a suit".
 
Used by many real estate agents I have the misfortune of having to deal with when attempting to rip off both vendor and purchaser fails to achieve their desired outcome.

It affects different people differently , some can handle it ok as long as they don't overdose and others it sets them off into a frenzy much quicker than too much grog.

Some get very edgy and threatening when on a binge and you need to stay away from them.

It makes them feel they are invincible but it soon disappears as they come down off their frenzy and most of them go into fits of depression as their nasal cavity slowly burns away.

As to why , well basically its a substitute for lack of self esteem , lack of liking and loving themselves enough and feeling that without it they cannot get into the in crowd.

I always had my best sex when I was sober funny enough and in my later years great City performances and victories give me a bigger high than any drug could.

Other than the birth of my kids , City have given me some of my best times shared with friends and family etc.

You eventually as I did luckily enough that the best highs are non self induced ones.
 
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