Coping with the terrible twos

[DiscoSteve]

The third by the way is please don't inflict your screaming angel on the rest of the world by dragging it round shops and trying to eat out in restaurants or pubs or take it on a flaming aeroplane - have some sense and consideration for others

 

[Blue Maverick]

Trouble I have is remaining calm, I end up shouting and then feel a right shit 2 secs after as she just ends up crying more!! It's the letting them not win I'm struggling with as im quite prepared to not give in but it seems to go in that bloody long (probabky isn't) that's it's almost easier to.

 

[EalingBlue2]

Trouble I have is remaining calm, I end up shouting and then feel a right shit 2 secs after as she just ends up crying more!! It's the letting them not win I'm struggling with as im quite prepared to not give in but it seems to go in that bloody long (probabky isn't) that's it's almost easier to.

It is much much much easier to give in it is why so many parents do it and why there are som many spoilt people around who even as adults think stropping will get them what they want.

I try to listen sympathetically a few times whilst not giving in and watching father jack rant at me. Then I walk away for a few minutes and go back - it's hard to be calm and sympathetic especially when you might be exhausted and without budging on whatever it is you are disagreeing on but it's the only way.

 

[EalingBlue2]

The third by the way is please don't inflict your screaming angel on the rest of the world by dragging it round shops and trying to eat out in restaurants or pubs or take it on a flaming aeroplane - have some sense and consideration for others

Move to the Isle of Wight and never leave, you will solve yours and everyone else's problem! Decent society should be protected from Tutters

 

[Stuuuuuu]

Never had any problems with mine. We give her lots of love and attention and she is our focus in life. She's turned out to be happy and well-mannered.

Three things.
1. You MUST not let them win.
2. If you've exhausted every other carrot/stick/reasoning/arguing/shouting do NOT be ashamed to give them a slap them on the back of the legs (we weren't with ours) - sometimes a short sharp shock which hurts is the only thing that can snap them out of it - all you goody two shoes spouting your softly softly PC stuff can bog right off - it has ALWAYS needed to be there as a last resort

And here we have a prime example of bad parenting. What sort of responsible adult would teach a child that violence is acceptable? And don't come back with shit about it being 'only a tap' or whatever - you're teaching that child that hitting is the correct thing to do. If you think you have to hit a child, it can only because you've fucked up as a parent in the first place.

I should also point out that I'm a primary school teacher, and as such have dealt with a LOT of children and parents. Without exception, the badly-behaved children are always the ones whose parents hit them. The well-adjusted kids who perform well academically are always the ones with parents who would never condone hitting.

 

[Blue Maverick]

I'm sorry but a tap on the legs is not beating the crap out of them, and if they hit you how the hell do you reason with a two year old, to me I f they hit someone they must realise that they will be hit back otherwise they will have a shock later in life surely, and I do t want this to descend into a hitting your kids thread please.
I spend a hell of a lot of time with my daughter as I'm a shift worker probably more than most dads who work 9-5 jobs, she gets more attention than most kids I would think in this time, it's just the frustrating side of it all and apparently the worse is yet to come when they are teenagers!!! What the hell have I let myself in for lol.

 

[Stuuuuuu]

to me I f they hit someone they must realise that they will be hit back otherwise they will have a shock later in life surely

I've never hit my kid, yet she has learnt not to hit others.

 

[BlueBearBoots]

I've never smacked my kids although I threatened it a few times when they were older, however back in the day when I was a child (no stony not in the Victorian era) a sharp slap was what you got and the ruler across your hand from the teacher. I found it much more terrifying the thought of a slap than being grounded tbf.



Don't think it does any good whatsoever smacking very young children they just wouldn't understand but ignorning them now that gets their attention. My 3 yr old grandson has been a dream these past few days apart from one crying jag when he wouldn't put his shoes on he just kept saying I want my muuuum with big tears rolling down his face I just gave him some chocolate - grandmas can get away with that :)

 

[kas_tippler]

Terrible elevens all the best

 

[nalari]

Terrible twos, but terrific threes. Hang in there.

Ditto what another poster said about the magic of a distraction. Sometimes the crying just snowballs, but they can easily snap out of it if you get them thinking about something else.