Coping with the terrible twos

[Gaylord du Bois]

check her diet.
afternoon sleep
put her in a buggy till she calms down.

A game of golf's the last thing she needs.

 

[Bill]

you never ever hit your kids. they are the most precious thing you'll ever have. if you "tap the back of their legs" cos they are shouting and screaming what do you do if they then add kicking the cat? do you hit their head? break their arm? what do you do if the crime gets bigger again?

you never ever hit your kid.

 

[DerderderPabloZabaleta]

you never ever hit your kids. they are the most precious thing you'll ever have. if you "tap the back of their legs" cos they are shouting and screaming what do you do if they then add kicking the cat? do you hit their head? break their arm? what do you do if the crime gets bigger again?

you never ever hit your kid.

Sorry Bill that's just your opinion, I'm a father of 3 and my two young lads both get a smacked arse on rare occasions. They are however lovely most of the time.

To the OP, I'd just say chill out mate. Remember how many good times there are, it's all worth it.

 

[BlueTangerine]

I think Bill is right. Don't hit your kids. I hit one of mine once (not hard I should say) but it's a memory I can't forget.

I used to think certain situations justified it. Putting their fingers in sockets.. running into the road.. you know the obvious stuff..

I don't think it's a massive horror to smack a child don't get me wrong. but I'm of the opinion now that it can be avoided completely. It's your own emotions you have to keep in check.. the kid is just acting the way it can fathom, given it's limited experience and small understanding.

 

[DiscoSteve]

Never had any problems with mine. We give her lots of love and attention and she is our focus in life. She's turned out to be happy and well-mannered.

And here we have a prime example of bad parenting. What sort of responsible adult would teach a child that violence is acceptable? And don't come back with shit about it being 'only a tap' or whatever - you're teaching that child that hitting is the correct thing to do. If you think you have to hit a child, it can only because you've fucked up as a parent in the first place.

I should also point out that I'm a primary school teacher, and as such have dealt with a LOT of children and parents. Without exception, the badly-behaved children are always the ones whose parents hit them. The well-adjusted kids who perform well academically are always the ones with parents who would never condone hitting.

Well ACTUALLY what we have here is a prime example of a namby pamby do-gooder who is living in airey fairy land, typical f**ing teacher who's no clue outside the four walls of the school - I've been a governor at more than one school and I know what you are like.

And we taught our children ACTUALLY that if they continue to step out of line they will regret it and stop doing it because it because something happens they really don't like. Its about defining acceptable boundaries, holding to them and making sure that if they're breached the child is very definitely going to be punished. You can't wimp out on this, it is YOUR duty as a parent. And I challenge ANYONE to say that my children didn't turn out the best they could.

So you WILL retract that statement that I fucked up as parent, you DO NOT know me or my family.

 

[LongLang]

Well ACTUALLY what we have here is a prime example of a namby pamby do-gooder who is living in airey fairy land, typical f**ing teacher who's no clue outside the four walls of the school - I've been a governor at more than one school and I know what you are like.

And we taught our children ACTUALLY that if they continue to step out of line they will regret it and stop doing it because it because something happens they really don't like. Its about defining acceptable boundaries, holding to them and making sure that if they're breached the child is very definitely going to be punished. You can't wimp out on this, it is YOUR duty as a parent. And I challenge ANYONE to say that my children didn't turn out the best they could.

So you WILL retract that statement that I fucked up as parent, you DO NOT know me or my family.

My thoughts exactly mate.
My kids did and will get a smacked legs if they push too hard. Fortunately that is, and was a very rare occurrence.
My 6 year old is doing g really well at school.And is, for the most part, really good at home. (she's six, there WILL be moments)

I got a crack if I was bad, and I grew up right. No prison. Worked my whole life etc.

Just because some **** teaches finger painting and leaf reliefs, don't dream of telling g me how to raisey my kids.
They are my absolute Fucking world. The reason I wake up and work every hour I do. I want the best for them. And if that means I go without myself, then that's how it will be. But if they push the boundaries of what we deem to be appropriate, then they will be punished accordingly.

Sending kids to their room these days is never s punishment, with all the shit they have in there, it's a reward!

 

[EalingBlue2]

you never ever hit your kids. they are the most precious thing you'll ever have. if you "tap the back of their legs" cos they are shouting and screaming what do you do if they then add kicking the cat? do you hit their head? break their arm? what do you do if the crime gets bigger again?

you never ever hit your kid.

I am with you I have never smacked either of nine and I hope I never do. It is not because I have a massive social view on it or would condemn others I just don't think I could feel comfortable with myself if it was the only way to deal with issues and the way I love and feel protective to my kids it is only an urge I have ever felt when very tired and cross and if I am not in control of my own emotions how can a kid be expected to control theirs.

That said I was slapped a few times as a kid - very occasionally and it didn't do any major damage so I am not sure how big a deal it is for others?

What I would say is any punishment or argument with a 2 year old done by an emotional parent won't work. Calmness and patience and de escalating is the only thing that works - and jelly babies

 

[Sir peace frog]

its down to communication ,the 2/3 year olds have so much to say and learn but cant express what they want clearly , there's a form of sign language called Makaton(sp) its sign language for very young kids or kids with learning difficulties works a treat.

shouting and screaming or even god forbid hitting wont and never will work, patience and understanding is what's needed ,if it gets too much take 5 minutes out .

 

[Bill]

I am with you I have never smacked either of nine and I hope I never do. It is not because I have a massive social view on it or would condemn others I just don't think I could feel comfortable with myself if it was the only way to deal with issues and the way I love and feel protective to my kids it is only an urge I have ever felt when very tired and cross and if I am not in control of my own emotions how can a kid be expected to control theirs.

That said I was slapped a few times as a kid - very occasionally and it didn't do any major damage so I am not sure how big a deal it is for others?

What I would say is any punishment or argument with a 2 year old done by an emotional parent won't work. Calmness and patience and de escalating is the only thing that works - and jelly babies

same here. not bothered about the "the way it looks" etc i just wouldn't smack them.

a weird thing, i dreamt i smacked my granson a few weeks back. in the dream the regret was immense, i mean distraught. when i woke up the relief that is was all a dream was overwelming. to this day i shudder to think i could harm that little boy. he is simply my total exsistence.

 

[DiscoSteve]

the calmness thing is a very important point - its never right to do it just to satisfy you own need of anger

and I'm not even going to respond to Bill's ridiculous where do you stop post...