I totally get fearing the worst mate. It's a pretty common coping mechanism - tell yourself everything is terrible, and so if it does happen it doesn't come as a surprise. Humans do it all the time. City fans do it on a less harmful scale every single game! 'Typical City' we say to ourselves before a game, expecting City to lose against an easy team, even though know the odds are hugely stacked in City's favour and they're likely gonna win it. And usually do. It feels easier to say something negative and not be surprised if you're right, but then be pleasantly wrong, as opposed to saying something positive and fear getting your hopes dashed. I get it mate, I truly do.
During scenarios like this though, it's also called catastrophizing. Catastrophizing is basically viewing a situation as massively worse than it is, and ignoring all evidence that suggests otherwise. I do it sometimes, but I've tried hard to know when I am. It isn't easy, i'll admit that, but it certainly doesn't help, and it certainly isn't rational. It's the exact opposite of the happy clapper mentality, and both damaging in their own way. You're fearing the worst at every possible turn and you're ignoring common sense at the same time. I don't blame you, but try and recognise it mate for your own good. Take this pandemic for example. It's utterly fucking shite, I'm not going to dress that up. But it isn't a new and unique experience. Pandemics happen. And cos pandemics happen, we also know that pandemics go. This one will too.
Here's some pretty undeniable truths for you. We literally know things will get better in the summer either way. They did last year. Look at this graph:
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It is clear to anyone with half a brain that this virus is seasonal. Lockdowns will help, sure, but we all know *really* that the reason it literally did disappear over the summer is because that's how these seasonal viruses work. Now when you add vastly more significant herd immunity from general spread over winter (and it has been painful, yes - but it is a thing), and then even the vaccines working even just a tiny bit, then I can't see any logical, scientific reason why summer won't be like last year, if not even lower in terms of numbers.
I don't think many of us realised how little it was spread about last summer compared to what we're seeing now. The odds of getting it were tiny. I don't see any reason why it won't be the same. New variant a factor? Yeah, sure, but if anything the new variant just pushes us closer to the end goal, quicker. Herd immunity. It's a thing, whether its reached via vaccines or catching it. The new variant will still very likely act like a seasonal virus too.
Now I don't know about you, but last summer I certainly remember gyms being open, I certainly remember being able to sit outside or inside at pubs and restaurants. And I did! I had some lovely walks, and I felt comfortable and relaxed chatting to friends safely outside in gardens. It isn't optimal, no, but its a damn sight better than what we have now. It will happen mate. As for holidays? Well, I don't know. Maybe overseas travel may be a little more cautious, but you've got to remember that this government was one of the last to close travel, and i'd wager that if they got a chance to open it with cases and deaths very, very low, then they might do again. Plus, many countries literally rely on tourism. I guarantee they'll want people back at the first sign of normality.
Now I know you'll say 'but it could evolve and reinfect people'. Correct! Though all the scientists I follow don't seem to think tha' any changes would make it more deadly, and even if it did become a situation where people could be reinfected, it is still highly likely that the symptoms would be much less the second time around given some residual understanding from your immune system. When this starts to happen, the virus just becomes endemic. It becomes another thing we put up with, and our bodies understand it better. This is how we've gotten through pandemics before, and I don't see any reason as to why it wouldn't happen again.
Anyway mate, I get it. I truly do. Things are overwhelmingly bleak. I feel it every day too, sometimes really down about it all, but normality will return simply because everything we know suggests it will. It could be painful for a bit on the way, yep, but we will get there one way or another. Big love mate. Hang on in there :)