cooky's_overbite
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 2 Jun 2009
- Messages
- 54
Gary Cook explains.............
It was a cold and wet January night in Manchester, when Gary Cook and ADUG sat down to discuss the future development of Manchester City Football Club.
With not much chance of making any significant signings the sheik calmly lay back in his leather chair and put his sandaled feet up on his new oak desk to hear the sound of rattling. Placing his whiskey glass down on the sheiks carved camel statue at his side Cook enquired as to what the sound was ? Replying the Sheik quietly explained that the noise had come from his socks recently bought from the market stall opposite bag-a-rama in the arndale. He went on to divulge that he tucks his loose change in them for fags and whores and didn't want mrs sheik knowing his full wages. Cook laughed and told him that he was a wind up merchant. The sheik quickly jumped to his feet, whipped off his desert docs and double striped socks, with accompanying swimming pool matchstick man diver on the sides and proceeded to empty the contents onto his desk.
Many, many hours later both cooke and the sheik sat staring at the piles of money duly counted before them. £ 100M glimmered enticingly at them. You know what Cooky said the Sheik, fuck it lets make this shit happen. Within a click of his gold laden fingers a jet landed at eastlands, cooky was duly plied with coffee to sober him up and he was dispatched to milan with a bag full cash. Arriving 2 hours late, due to the piss poor set up of the eastlands car park and not to the amusement of berlusconi and galliani whom were in the middle of a love train with mrs kaka, cooky walked in looked them straight in the eye, dropped the cash in the middle of berlusconi's desk and said listen woman we don't want kaka, we dont in fact want cock all to do with crumbling club, i have contacted a few friends in the press, tomorrow we will be all over the papers, we have now officially arrived.
Cooky continued whilst gently pushing galliano to one side and easing himself inside mrs kaka. Now i am gonna finish this skinny whippet off whilst i give you 4 hours to concoct a story, saying how close we were to getting him, how we are now at the top table, anything you like...get the god fearing freak to wave his shirt about to the crying fans but get us on your dodgy tv network now or i will personally see that the sheik has u fisting one of his camels before burying you in his sand !!
Cooky knew his blag had worked on both levels, firstly 4 hours to finish her off he thought, get real as he whipped his strides up after turning out to be the three pump kid and secondly he was taken to a private viewing lounge where he was allowed to watch his and the sheiks evil plan roll out globally. Mass hysteria set about milan as the prodigal son swung this way and that with where his destination of football would be. Not fully understanding the deal Bosco, Kaka's father had terms of his own that he wished to be included....Cooky as ever played "hard ball", listen tesco he replied there is no chaffing way that you are having a church built at eastlands and £10m for yourself that must have been the most lucrative shag you and your mrs must ever have had, carry on like that tesco and you''ll be skinning the camels for the sheiks sandals next year.
With milan fans at breaking point, Cooky strode casually into gallianos sex chamber chucked £ 40m at him and whispered intimidatingly, this is yours, call it a public relations gesture, see that prick hanging over his balcony, keep him sell him do what the fuck you want with him, we have much bigger fish to fry. On saying his final words Cooky departed and returned back to the Sheik who had been watching the frenzy on bluemoon and the worlds press. Cooky my boy, u did well, keep the change you have erant your crust tonight.
The next morning cooky explained to the press how milan had "bottled it" and how Bosco had butt fucked him in gallianos chamber whilst making him recite nessun dirma over and over, it was pure torture he said i had to endure those bent idiots all night and at the end they simply bottled it.
I have to say being sat here with Garry right now, i can actually see why milan accepted £ 40m less for kaka.
It was a cold and wet January night in Manchester, when Gary Cook and ADUG sat down to discuss the future development of Manchester City Football Club.
With not much chance of making any significant signings the sheik calmly lay back in his leather chair and put his sandaled feet up on his new oak desk to hear the sound of rattling. Placing his whiskey glass down on the sheiks carved camel statue at his side Cook enquired as to what the sound was ? Replying the Sheik quietly explained that the noise had come from his socks recently bought from the market stall opposite bag-a-rama in the arndale. He went on to divulge that he tucks his loose change in them for fags and whores and didn't want mrs sheik knowing his full wages. Cook laughed and told him that he was a wind up merchant. The sheik quickly jumped to his feet, whipped off his desert docs and double striped socks, with accompanying swimming pool matchstick man diver on the sides and proceeded to empty the contents onto his desk.
Many, many hours later both cooke and the sheik sat staring at the piles of money duly counted before them. £ 100M glimmered enticingly at them. You know what Cooky said the Sheik, fuck it lets make this shit happen. Within a click of his gold laden fingers a jet landed at eastlands, cooky was duly plied with coffee to sober him up and he was dispatched to milan with a bag full cash. Arriving 2 hours late, due to the piss poor set up of the eastlands car park and not to the amusement of berlusconi and galliani whom were in the middle of a love train with mrs kaka, cooky walked in looked them straight in the eye, dropped the cash in the middle of berlusconi's desk and said listen woman we don't want kaka, we dont in fact want cock all to do with crumbling club, i have contacted a few friends in the press, tomorrow we will be all over the papers, we have now officially arrived.
Cooky continued whilst gently pushing galliano to one side and easing himself inside mrs kaka. Now i am gonna finish this skinny whippet off whilst i give you 4 hours to concoct a story, saying how close we were to getting him, how we are now at the top table, anything you like...get the god fearing freak to wave his shirt about to the crying fans but get us on your dodgy tv network now or i will personally see that the sheik has u fisting one of his camels before burying you in his sand !!
Cooky knew his blag had worked on both levels, firstly 4 hours to finish her off he thought, get real as he whipped his strides up after turning out to be the three pump kid and secondly he was taken to a private viewing lounge where he was allowed to watch his and the sheiks evil plan roll out globally. Mass hysteria set about milan as the prodigal son swung this way and that with where his destination of football would be. Not fully understanding the deal Bosco, Kaka's father had terms of his own that he wished to be included....Cooky as ever played "hard ball", listen tesco he replied there is no chaffing way that you are having a church built at eastlands and £10m for yourself that must have been the most lucrative shag you and your mrs must ever have had, carry on like that tesco and you''ll be skinning the camels for the sheiks sandals next year.
With milan fans at breaking point, Cooky strode casually into gallianos sex chamber chucked £ 40m at him and whispered intimidatingly, this is yours, call it a public relations gesture, see that prick hanging over his balcony, keep him sell him do what the fuck you want with him, we have much bigger fish to fry. On saying his final words Cooky departed and returned back to the Sheik who had been watching the frenzy on bluemoon and the worlds press. Cooky my boy, u did well, keep the change you have erant your crust tonight.
The next morning cooky explained to the press how milan had "bottled it" and how Bosco had butt fucked him in gallianos chamber whilst making him recite nessun dirma over and over, it was pure torture he said i had to endure those bent idiots all night and at the end they simply bottled it.
I have to say being sat here with Garry right now, i can actually see why milan accepted £ 40m less for kaka.