Have you ever caught your partner cheating?

worsleyweb said:
Good post. I have somehow managed to stay in my girls life despite the exes best efforts. I remember being “awarded” at court every other Friday Saturday sleep over and an hour on wednesdays. My kids were 1 and 4. Essentially 4 days out of 30 properly seeing my kids. Fuck that!! I am not in any way embarrassed to say I was arrested 17 times over a 3 years period for picking my kids up from school on non rota days and taking them for meals and holidays. (Never been in trouble for anything else ever) I did the whole fathers for justice thing and beyond and managed to eventually get 50/50 custody. Not through the courts just through the fact that the ex knew I would not give up. I could not do it now as I would not have the energy - when I was 30 I was a lot tougher and stronger. It’s a very brave man who risks having kids and facing not seeing them properly. Mine are 16 and 19 now and I literally could not be closer to them. Very proud of myself for making sure of that. I could quite easily have walked away at times it was that tough. The ex was cheating on me for months with a women from work. Still bullshits me that they only got together after we split! Load of bollox.
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Well done. State-sanctioned removal of men from their own families is one of the biggest and most tragic scandals of our times.
 
Psychedelic Casual said:
People could have all the best intentions in the world towards that, but people change. The people we meet and fall for years in the past often aren’t the same person a few years down the line. They aren’t the people we fell for and in fact can actually be someone we do not like anymore, let alone love. It’s not healthy to stay in that relationship, it can lead to depression and unneeded hate in life.

Also, people can think they’ve fallen in love, think they’ve met “the one”, get serious, move in, get married... only to actually really fall in love with someone else a few years down the line. This can especially happen when you meet someone when you’re young and you have no real experience of other personalities and compatibilities. Then when you mature and are more worldly wise and developed as a person, even though you’re already married with a few kids, you go and meet someone who completely knocks you off your feet.

Life is too short to deny yourself something you really want and something that could make you happier than you are now.
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Whilst this is true as it happened to me with my ex, there is the amount of respect the other person should have for the other person. My ex, effectively set me up, I’d left my job, moved back to Manchester to start a new career and life out of the RAF with her (she was going to leave as well), we had even decided no kids and because of medical problems on her side I’d had the snip two years previous. She then left me for some **** at another base shed known for 3 months who also had a wife and 2 year old daughter! The split was very acrimonious and she even said that when I’d gone for the snip she knew she was not in love with me! She was waiting for the right time for her to fuck me off. Let’s just say I’ve not seen her since but I do know she ended up having a kid, I wouldn’t piss on her if she on fire.
However that was 20 years ago I now have a beautiful 8 year old daughter and the second wife (must be mad) is not so bad, so fuck the ex, hope she ends up sad and lonely.
 
Psychedelic Casual said:
Then there’s the effect on kids in this situation. Couples may stay together for the kids’ sake, which is a very selfless act and better for the kids in many ways because having that stable home is better for the kids (although an unhappy home isn’!). Splitting up can have an impact on the kids. Not having a Father figure at home can lead to problems. There are studies that show the stronger the Father involvement in a child’s life, a better childhood is experienced and a better adult that child develops into.
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Firstly I think you speak a lot of sense in most of your posts PC and I agree with most of your input on this thread, pal.

I think many in today's society don't know what they want and if they find it their boredom threshold is set to low because almost everyone nowadays wants that big posh house, that shiny new Merc and that big Rolex watch, latest 1200 pound phone, designer handbag Pair of Jimmy Choo shoes etc etc. It's all superficial materialistic bollocks.

My point being is true love is not about money(isn't to me) it's a fulfilment of overflowing heart felt joy and contentment. Making love is 1000X more powerful and overwhelming than the best soulless sex can ever be, but many want their cake and eat it and as a consequence kids are often made to the brunt of an inevitable acrimonious split when the cheat is found out.

I speak from experience. She stared seeing a guy romantically without consummating sexually but the loving bond was broken between us. But when my ex wife and I split we made a pact that we would be as amicable as possible so our girls weren't dragged around back n' forth like bargaining chips like pawns on a chess board. And we mostly stuck to that pact without mind games, albeit a few bickerings early on that were ironed out in a civilised manner.

Both of us have done the very best we can for our girls and you could say they'd had the both worlds as an outsider looking in, But did they?(I'll come to that later)

When I was home from working away my two main passions City and and fishing were put very much in the background, fishing more so as i like at least half a day, nipping to the Emptyhad I could do in two n' half hours but anyway my girls were my everything and I'm proud to say I've done my very best for them.

As they have got grown up into late teenage I've spoken to them as young adults and my eldest has asked me questions on why mum and I split etc. I said I didn't want to say unless I was being stark truthful, and the truth hurts. I didn't want her worrying unduly of how it has affected me playing part time dad not there for them due to work commitments and not together as the head of the household like her stepfather has been.

I told her the truth and her younger sister but my youngest took us splitting up more badly because she's a sensitive soul. She he has ADHD and mild autism and I think her living with mum and her stepdad and me being single going through the motions of being with someone knowing I've only ever truly loved mum has affected her badly. Anorexia nervosa and self harming could possibly be linked to being unhappy in childhood, I don't know as I'm not an expert. What I do know is it breaks my heart how I could have possibly contributed to her suffering.

But I have done my best and mostly kept my opinions of their stepdad to myself and let them make their own minds up over growing up with him.

I think parents splitting up can have a huge impact on kids lives. And I also think that if you can find true love, have kids and have a loving harmonious family relationship then you have hit the jackpot of life, that's if you've chosen to have kids of course.

If my ex Mrs could turn back the clock she would and so would I but we can't, and we cannot get back what we had not can you. But if you have a young family reading this don't think of your dick being happy whilst your dipping your wick. Think of what could possibly happen when your candle has been snuffed out from being caught out! That's life, but you can mostly choose which port to dock your boat.

Think of your kids first and foremost because you brought them into this world!

My youngest made me a lovely present made from wire this Christmas. She asked me what I wanted and I asked her to make me an owl as they are my favourite birds. I'm so proud of her(and her big sis) I wouldn't sell this for all the tea in China(as they say.

Daddy owl in the middle with my owlets by my side. Happy owls. Twit twoo: )Anyone interested in buying any artwork like this PM me as my youngest has her own website doing wire creations, bespoke too as this is one. Thanks.
 
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Bellamy's Caddy said:
Interesting post. As someone in my thirties and single I find it interesting how many of my mates have 'settled' over the last few years. I know they aren't happy, because they've told me in some cases or alluded to it in others.

As you have said people change as they get older. It's a personal choice to be single (theirs lol), at times settling down sounds like the easy option. Then I see how complicated it can get, if people cheat or kids are involved and think I'm right to hold off. I guess the flip side of that is the 'right' girl might not be out there in that case...

Possibly more appropriate for another thread, but I feel society consciously or unconsciously discriminates against single people. 1 bedroom flats are fucking extortionate, fine if you're in a couple and splitting the bills. Meal deals in supermarkets, geared to couples not someone living on their own etc. Then there's the fact that people in couples seem to think it's fine to ask you about your sex life and who you're shagging, for their own entertainment. Your mates can make disparaging remarks about it, but you tell them you wouldn't touch their mrs with a plastic one and suddenly you're the bad guy!
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Not to mention always having to cover at work for the parents who use their kids as an excuse to fucking skive and take random days off
 
BlueMoonRisin' said:
Firstly I think you speak a lot of sense in most of your posts PC and I agree with most of your input on this thread, pal.

I think many in today's society don't know what they want and if they find it their boredom threshold is set to low because almost everyone nowadays wants that big posh house, that shiny new Merc and that big Rolex watch, latest 1200 pound phone, designer handbag Pair of Jimmy Choo shoes etc etc. It's all superficial materialistic bollocks.

My point being is true love is not about money(isn't to me) it's a fulfilment of overflowing heart felt joy and contentment. Making love is 1000X more powerful and overwhelming than the best soulless sex can ever be, but many want their cake and eat it and as a consequence kids are often made to the brunt of an inevitable acrimonious split when the cheat is found out.

I speak from experience. She stared seeing a guy romantically without consummating sexually but the loving bond was broken between us. But when my ex wife and I split we made a pact that we would be as amicable as possible so our girls weren't dragged around back n' forth like bargaining chips like pawns on a chess board. And we mostly stuck to that pact without mind games, albeit a few bickerings early on that were ironed out in a civilised manner.

Both of us have done the very best we can for our girls and you could say they'd had the both worlds as an outsider looking in, But did they?(I'll come to that later)

When I was home from working away my two main passions City and and fishing were put very much in the background, fishing more so as i like at least half a day, nipping to the Emptyhad I could do in two n' half hours but anyway my girls were my everything and I'm proud to say I've done my very best for them.

As they have got grown up into late teenage I've spoken to them as young adults and my eldest has asked me questions on why mum and I split etc. I said I didn't want to say unless I was being stark truthful, and the truth hurts. I didn't want her worrying unduly of how it has affected me playing part time dad not there for them due to work commitments and not together as the head of the household like her stepfather has been.

I told her the truth and her younger sister but my youngest took us splitting up more badly because she's a sensitive soul. She he has ADHD and mild autism and I think her living with mum and her stepdad and me being single going through the motions of being with someone knowing I've only ever truly loved mum has affected her badly. Anorexia nervosa and self harming could possibly be linked to being unhappy in childhood, I don't know as I'm not an expert. What I do know is it breaks my heart how I could have possibly contributed to her suffering.

But I have done my best and mostly kept my opinions of their stepdad to myself and let them make their own minds up over growing up with him.

I think parents splitting up can have a huge impact on kids lives. And I also think that if you can find true love, have kids and have a loving harmonious family relationship then you have hit the jackpot of life, that's if you've chosen to have kids of course.

If my ex Mrs could turn back the clock she would and so would I but we can't, and we cannot get back what we had not can you. But if you have a young family reading this don't think of your dick being happy whilst your dipping your wick, think of what could possibly happen when your candle has been snuffed out That's life, but you can mostly choose which port to dock your boat.

Think of your kids first and foremost because you brought them into this world!

My youngest made me a lovely present made from wire this Christmas. She asked me what I wanted and I asked her to make me an owl as they are my favourite birds. I'm so proud of her(and her big sis) I would sell this for all the tea in China(as they say.

Daddy owl in the middle with my owlets by my side. Happy owls. Twit twoo: )Anyone interested in buying any artwork like this PM me as my youngest has her own website doing wire creations, bespoke too as this is one. Thanks
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Just read the above. Could not agree more with every word mate. The negative effects of your parents splitting up can be devastating. I am 62 years of age now and after reading your story was moved close to tears. Your children will be so very proud of you.
 
worsleyweb said:
well said mate. It really is. I pray my lad does not have to go through the shit I went through.
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Even though I never had to go through it I've seen plenty who have. I've told my lads exactly what they are letting themselves in for so they go into a relationship with their eyes wide open. It's up to us to educate the next generation.
 
BlueMoonRisin' said:
Firstly I think you speak a lot of sense in most of your posts PC and I agree with most of your input on this thread, pal.

I think many in today's society don't know what they want and if they find it their boredom threshold is set to low because almost everyone nowadays wants that big posh house, that shiny new Merc and that big Rolex watch, latest 1200 pound phone, designer handbag Pair of Jimmy Choo shoes etc etc. It's all superficial materialistic bollocks.

My point being is true love is not about money(isn't to me) it's a fulfilment of overflowing heart felt joy and contentment. Making love is 1000X more powerful and overwhelming than the best soulless sex can ever be, but many want their cake and eat it and as a consequence kids are often made to the brunt of an inevitable acrimonious split when the cheat is found out.

I speak from experience. She stared seeing a guy romantically without consummating sexually but the loving bond was broken between us. But when my ex wife and I split we made a pact that we would be as amicable as possible so our girls weren't dragged around back n' forth like bargaining chips like pawns on a chess board. And we mostly stuck to that pact without mind games, albeit a few bickerings early on that were ironed out in a civilised manner.

Both of us have done the very best we can for our girls and you could say they'd had the both worlds as an outsider looking in, But did they?(I'll come to that later)

When I was home from working away my two main passions City and and fishing were put very much in the background, fishing more so as i like at least half a day, nipping to the Emptyhad I could do in two n' half hours but anyway my girls were my everything and I'm proud to say I've done my very best for them.

As they have got grown up into late teenage I've spoken to them as young adults and my eldest has asked me questions on why mum and I split etc. I said I didn't want to say unless I was being stark truthful, and the truth hurts. I didn't want her worrying unduly of how it has affected me playing part time dad not there for them due to work commitments and not together as the head of the household like her stepfather has been.

I told her the truth and her younger sister but my youngest took us splitting up more badly because she's a sensitive soul. She he has ADHD and mild autism and I think her living with mum and her stepdad and me being single going through the motions of being with someone knowing I've only ever truly loved mum has affected her badly. Anorexia nervosa and self harming could possibly be linked to being unhappy in childhood, I don't know as I'm not an expert. What I do know is it breaks my heart how I could have possibly contributed to her suffering.

But I have done my best and mostly kept my opinions of their stepdad to myself and let them make their own minds up over growing up with him.

I think parents splitting up can have a huge impact on kids lives. And I also think that if you can find true love, have kids and have a loving harmonious family relationship then you have hit the jackpot of life, that's if you've chosen to have kids of course.

If my ex Mrs could turn back the clock she would and so would I but we can't, and we cannot get back what we had not can you. But if you have a young family reading this don't think of your dick being happy whilst your dipping your wick, think of what could possibly happen when your candle has been snuffed out That's life, but you can mostly choose which port to dock your boat.

Think of your kids first and foremost because you brought them into this world!

My youngest made me a lovely present made from wire this Christmas. She asked me what I wanted and I asked her to make me an owl as they are my favourite birds. I'm so proud of her(and her big sis) I would sell this for all the tea in China(as they say.

Daddy owl in the middle with my owlets by my side. Happy owls. Twit twoo: )Anyone interested in buying any artwork like this PM me as my youngest has her own website doing wire creations, bespoke too as this is one. Thanks.
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That daddy owl looks like you buster blood vessel:)
 
yozzerblue said:
Just read the above. Could not agree more with every word mate. The negative effects of your parents splitting up can be devastating. I am 62 years of age now and after reading your story was moved close to tears. Your children will be so very proud of you.
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Thank you kind sir/madam. I speak from the heart now n' then. it's the best way: )

Giz a job blue; )
 
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